Myanmar

The salary braggart

Shakira Sison

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Five ways to deal with a braggart

Eleven years ago, I was young and slaving away at a job that was sponsoring my work visa, when an acquaintance asked me mockingly in front of a large group if I was still earning minimum wage. It was startling to me that someone would actually try to humiliate me based on how much I earned as a new immigrant, and I was stunned in disbelief that a person could actually be so lacking in character. Especially because she was also a Filipino immigrant, I found it to be in very poor form, disrespectful of people’s struggles, and downright rude. That was my first introduction to the Salary Braggart and their kind.

We all know one of these. To them, everything has to be connected to how much you’re making or how much you need to make. These kinds of people ask you what your salary is, point out the disparities between your finances, or simply find a way to belittle you, your assets, attire, and your possessions. You’re forced to wonder – don’t they have anything else be proud about?

Bragging about bling

As much as their existence is an unfortunate reminder of the undesirable parts of society, this type of person is luckily easy to identify (and subsequently avoid). They usually do not come from money so they make it a point to flaunt whatever they’ve attained because this is how they’ve learned to evaluate their worth. The Salary Braggart’s conversations always revolve around money, and he does not hesitate to inject his possessions in any equation. He is often asking questions about your clothes or jewelry, feigning interest before mentioning her own, and usually with an unnecessary mention of a price tag.

“Is that a new watch? I have a couple of Rolexes,” he’ll say before disguising a brag as a grievance, “You’re lucky you like simple things. Can you believe I paid $7,000 for mine? I don’t even use it! Ridiculous!”

The Salary Braggart is also quick to make value judgments of people based on what they own. This is because the SB’s self-worth is tied to their wealth. They are hoping that they are valued the way they value others, simply because they recognize what they lack in other departments and want to distract others from that fact.

Fortunately, there are a few ways of dealing with The Salary Braggart.

How to deal with a braggart

1) Keep the conversation away from money. This might be a challenge because the Salary Braggart always manages to steer the topic back to finances. Talk about art and the SB will enumerate what he owns and how much it costs. Talk about sports and they will involve a piece of equipment (“I have a $6,000 road bike!”) that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. Keep talking. As soon as the SB recognizes that his bragging has no bearing and is not met with the “Wow!” he so would like to hear, he will move on to another person who might better appreciate his assets.

2) Living well is the best revenge. The SB’s character stems from over-compensating for their lack of self-improvement. The only way to beat this person is to live your life well, improve your skills, and hone your talents in a way that the SB can never compete. Money can buy a lot of things, but in the end it cannot buy manners, self-worth, or the genuine affection of friends and lovers. The only approval a braggart will get will be from those who are impressed by possessions, thereby relegating them to their own kind.

3) Let them spew their venom. Fortunately, the SB is so lacking in self-awareness that it’s easy to just let them talk. You may even encourage them to let their true feelings come out, and engage them in an endless brag session about their belongings. Pretty soon they will be so caught up in themselves that even the most oblivious audience will soon catch on to the SB’s excessive self-promotion. It’s not a pretty reputation to have.

4) In the workplace, know the rules. Companies explicitly prohibit the discussion of compensation packages between employees. If the Salary Braggart is so ignorant as to make mention of her paycheck, report her to HR. They will not be pleased.

5) Call them out on it. Ask them what the connection is between the topic at hand and their mention of their possessions. Have them explain what it has to do with the conversation. If they still persist, let them have the floor to themselves and watch the crowd disappear. If he doesn’t get how ridiculous he sounds, everyone else will, except those who are also impressed by material possessions. It will make it even easier to identify the rest of their pack.

Recently, my Salary Braggart pointed out to a younger friend of mine that she made over 4 times the national average annual income. To the SB this was a matter-of-fact statement that needed to be advertised without solicitation, dumbfounding my friend in the same way it irked me that someone who claimed to be so rich financially could be so poor in class, and so insecure that she had to announce it. My friend and I laughed it off and felt some pity for the braggart, amused that she found a new victim a decade later, remaining unchanged in her tired way of lifting herself up by putting others down. We realized that 10 years later she was still belittling someone about money, simply because all the time that had passed had given her nothing else to be proud about.

 

Shakira Andrea Sison is a Palanca Award-winning essayist. She currently works in finance and spends her non-working hours writing stories in subway trains. She is a veterinarian by education and was managing a retail corporation in Manila before relocating to New York in 2002. Her column appears on Thursdays. Follow her on Twitter: @shakirasison and on Facebook.com/sisonshakira.

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