What my father’s death means to me

Life can be as mysterious to us as death. We often find ourselves in crossroads feeling nothing but bewilderment, vexation, and a bit of melancholy.

No one fully understands why certain events in life happen and why they find themselves afflicted by circumstances of great sorrow and suffering. Whether it’s 5 days, 5 months, or 5 years after the bereavement, a large part of it will remain an enigma even with the countless numbers of reflections and evaluations. Some things, I believe, cannot be comprehended within the span of our diminutive lives.

As such, this is why I have grown to treat death’s origin and purpose as the focus of our pursuits and of the value it brings and a reminder of the limitations we have as humans. Even if my father has ascended from this existence, the lessons that he left us have been treasured in the minds and hearts of those he has touched.

Remembering my father

My father, if ever there was a title I would use to describe him, was a gourmand of life.

His tastes in life were strongly defined by a profound love for his family and friends. He would not settle for any less than savoring every second that he was with them, for his individual purpose had been strongly crafted by each experience he spent with others.

Bearing an acute sense of the fleeting nature of life, he always found himself always striving to make the most out of each moment. My father’s habituation of maximizing accomplishments and minimizing excess of time was what often lead him to humorous situations of him “biting off more than he could chew.”

Regardless of the strain, irritation, and inconvenience from attempting to achieve for both himself and his loved ones, he would persist on. For him, it was better to try and do everything than to remain idle while the world passed you by. It wasn’t the burden you put yourself that was significant but the reason you put yourself through it. This is the lesson that has adhered to me the most in five years.

Death rejuvenates

This lesson helped me understand that by looking past the burden that bereavement brings we see the reason for the burden. We feel burdened by the concept of death because it is a confirmation of the fears, doubts, and anxiety that we currently hold while living.

We live our lives filled with such emotions because our lack of knowledge exacerbates these emotions. This often leads to the belief that by understanding the origin and purpose of death, we may ameliorate these emotions. The answer, however, does not lie in our pursuit of death but in our pursuit of life. It is important that we also pay attention to the value that death places upon our lives. It reminds us of the very thing that my father had known, which was life is fleeting and that it was up to us to ensure that it would become golden.

Part of which would also be recognizing the limitations we have and recognizing that having no knowledge of something doesn’t necessarily have to make us feel fear, doubt, or anxiety. The mere fact that we can bear knowledge at all can also make us feel courageous, assured, and determined. “For what?” you may ask.

My answer would be that we could make something great of our lives. Death, while killing and taking a part of us, also rejuvenates another part.

Carpe diem

It has been 5 long years and I still miss my father. The wound that I have from that moment has begun to heal but I know that a scar will remain for time cannot heal all wounds completely. It is not to say that the event has only left me wounds. Wisdom has also been left through the event.

It is this wisdom that has not only helped me cope but has also brought others and I together. The death of David Puyat has united all kinds of people because of the presence he had and still has in our lives. Death does not define a person. What he did in life does.

As such, I should seek to not only emulate what my father has done in his life but also seek to personalize it. We all have a sense of purpose that we may or may not know right now. And the only way we can actually understand this and fulfill it is to live life to the fullest, as my father did.

Death brings us despair but it also brings us hope. Sharing one of his favorite quotes: “Listen, you hear it? – Carpe – hear it? – Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.” Thus, we honor his lessons and memory by seizing each day of our lives, making something extraordinary out of it. – Rappler.com  

Vito Romulo Puyat is a 12th grade student at the Beacon School Academy. He plans to pursue his studies in the United Kingdom, where he has been offered a scholarship in Biology.