Top vexations of the week

It seems to me that some issues don’t deserve a whole column’s commentary. These are not necessarily unimportant because some of these issues make the headlines. What makes them unworthy of in-depth commentary is that they should not be in the headlines at all.  

Some are problems that continue to plague us even as other countries seem to have solved them. Others are just plain dumb, and the fact that they become politically significant speaks to the pathetic state of our national life. And some are so patently evil, the only commentary possible would be unfit to print.

So, I present my top vexations of the past week.

1) Traffic jams

One incompetent truck crew, one road-unworthy truck, keystone cop responses by two competing local government units. One life lost, several injured, Metro Manila in a 10-hour gridlock.

It does not take a rocket scientist to know that our roads are now our biggest public space, that traffic is one interlocking system, and that piecemeal solutions (like the bus and truck ban in Manila) worsen the situation for the rest of us. Solutions like reliable and accessible public transportation should have been started by any right-thinking administration gazillion years ago. Nada! 

In the meantime, our boundary system for taxis, jeeps and buses leads to barbaric road behavior. Good luck on getting a sensible bill such as abolishing the boundary system passed through a Congress malleable to the interests of groups rather than to the common good.

Furthermore, our traffic enforcers and regulatory agencies are complicit and toothless. Illegal infractions are ordinary occurrences. Cars are parked overnight (or forever) on the side of national highways, public transportation vehicles discharge passengers in the middle lane of the highway, load passengers while blocking intersections and corners, etc. Driver education and licensing is a joke.

And while I am ranting, if you were the jerk behind me who blew his horn yet again because we were stuck in traffic or one second after the light turned green: May a thousand fleas infest that part of your body the censors would not want me to name here.

2) The Aquino sisters’ opinion as to who should be the next president is making headlines 

With all due respect to your family, including your heroic parents, EDSA is everyone’s legacy. Please help our political system achieve its republican potential by limiting the ability of one family to influence national life. We never had a royal family and we should not have one. The fact that you are appealed to and quoted is troubling. Cacique mentality anyone?

3) The Aquino sisters are reported to be leaning towards Binay as their endorsed candidate. 

SAY WHAAAT!???!!! Wasn’t he the guy who was beeping his horn behind me during the traffic jam? No? Ok. But his kids did that mean thing to those security guards in Dasmariñas village, right? Worse than drag racing in a school zone. Wang, wang, wang, wang, wang… (sirens screaming).

4) School yard mentality rules our constitutionally mandated governance mechanisms

When PNoy was a freshman, he didn’t quite get along with the senior called Corona and his gang. So he and his gang made an alliance with the Congress gang to impeach the school yard bully. Good!

Then PNoy made the other gang (a.k.a the Supreme Court) a friendly gang by appointing some friends there. 

Peace prevailed and some of us thought we had finally left school yard politics behind.

Until the Supreme Court decided to carve out its own turf. Some of the justices did not realize they were in a school yard and thought they were helping govern a country. But there were some justices who carved out their turf as a form of school boy revenge.

It was up to Pnoy to decide whether we would have an executive branch of a modern republic or a gang of executives. Time to decide to have a respectful check and balance system or another schoolyard brawl.

The PNoy gang got mad. Really mad. Congress which has always been a gang, decides it’s time to choose sides. (Don’t ask me why, I gave up on school yard thinking when I was 12). Congress chooses to side with PNoy. Congress wants to help bully Supreme Court with an investigation of its funds.

5) Pork barrel of Revilla, Enrile and Estrada meant for farmer beneficiaries went to dead people and babies 

Napoles: “Let’s steal billions of the people’s money meant to lift the lives of our poor and bring progress for everyone.”

Pogi, Sexy and Tanda: “Yes! We will use some of the money to buy very noisy wangwangs (sirens).” 

Government inspectors: “Zzzzzzz….Wang-wang? Where? Want one.”

6) Another sex video surfaces

And the poor victim is accused of perpetrating the human rights violation on himself. Some of the accusations are patently bigoted like “He’s just doing that to prove he is not gay.” Some just plain mean, “He did it to revive a flagging career.”

You know why these things happen and for whatever reason? Because we keep paying attention to this ordure. You know who are the eventual victims? All of us.

7) Coup rumors are swirling again

Allegedly some retired generals are recruiting younger officers. Hmm. Let’s see. Retired generals. Of the age group of generals who enforced Martial Law. The RAM boys perhaps? Enrile loyalists upset that their main flea-infested (in the you-know-where) dog is in prison? Longing for the good old days when the military had absolute power over us poor civilians?

Friendly reminder: the People Power Revolution happened. You guys were repudiated, remember? Now go quietly into the dustbin of history and give the rest of us a break.

8) Israel is on a killing spree in Gaza

Hello, macho boys. Hello? It is wrong to fire rockets at civilians. Let me repeat that: It is wrong to kill babies and other innocents.

And just because Hamas also fired some rockets at your civilians does not give you the right. “Commit genocide” is not acceptable foreign policy.

May a thousand fleas infest Hamas in their unmentionables. May a million fleas infest the Israeli leadership everywhere including in their unmentionables.

And there it is. My top vexations of the week. If you liked this list and want to receive similar lists of ongoing inanities, just read your headlines on a daily basis. – Rappler.com