#AskMargie: Male Sexuality

MANILA Philippines – After talking about female sexuality, clinical psychologist Dr. Margie Holmes will now talk about the sexuality of the opposite sex.

Why do men tend to like younger women as they grow older? Are men really more prone to infidelity than women?

Dr. Holmes shares her insights on these matters in this week’s edition of #AskMargie

Script below: 

Today’s topic is about male sexuality. We’ve had varying questions from you on this subject. Let’s begin.

Anonymous 1: I know coming too quickly happens. I was just wondering, does a man ever come too late?

Yes, and it’s called inhibited or delayed ejaculation. man’s inability for or persistent difficulty in achieving orgasm, despite typical sexual desire and sexual stimulation. cannot have an orgasm until after prolonged intercourse which might last for 45 minutes or more.

NOT an answer to every gal’s dream: Priapism– potentially painful medical condition, in which the erect penis does not return to its flaccid state, despite the absence of both physical and psychological stimulation, within four hours

Anonymous 2: I am a married man in my mid-30’s. I have a very, very healthy sex drive. I noticed that as I get older, my sexual urges escalate. Before, I was not interested in young girls, but now I find myself ogling at pretty young things especially those with ample bosoms and/or a lovely butt. By young, I mean late teens and early twenties.

My friend says that this is a sign of getting old and I tend to agree with her. But I would like to know from you if that is true. Do men really gravitate to desiring young women as they get older and why? Is it a sign that a man is entering mid-life crisis?

Following the traditional set up that a man likes a woman to be younger, as you get older, the population you’re interested in, increases. You may not really like women to be 20 years younger, it’s just that you find 15-year old girls cute the way you did when you were 17. But now you are 37, so while your tastes may not have changed, it would be a good idea if your attitude towards your taste did.
The midlife crisis would not be about the age gap between you and your preferred partners, but more so your not realizing that, if you look for the same things in your partners now as you did then, something’s not quite right. And if you do nothing about it, well, that’s the midlife crisis right there:

Oliver Pulumbarit asks: Why are males “more visual” when it comes to sex?

Kristine says: I wonder why other men often watch porn videos but then still don’t want/prevent to have dirty talk with their partners.

Your question, Kristine, consists of two presumptions, but ok lang yan: 1. you presume a lot of men watch porno—true, Btw, confirmed by Canadian study. AND 2. you presume there’s a difference between expectations from porn stars and from their wives do. Alas, also backed by research, manly anthropological. Explanation: Madonna Prostitute dichotomy.

Tanya M Garcia: Can a man have an orgasm without ejaculating?

1. yes, retrograde ejaculation also called, “dry orgasm” -when semen, normally ejaculated via the urethra, is redirected to the urinary bladder. That’s the bad news about orgasm without ejaculation. The good news is…

2. Tao of Sex. Theory: Train yourself NOT to ejaculate yet still have an orgasm. Archie King—doesn’t mind cause he beleieves in it and also puts him in a good light ☺☺
In my own clinical experience, men say yes, they can train themselves not to ejaculate for a long, l-o-n-g time, but is this as orgasmic as ejaculating, no way?!!? While men are very happy to withhold ejaculation for 3-5 encounters for their partners’ enjoyment, they say they cannot train themselves to find it as pleasurable as ejaculating.

Kristine: What’s the difference between being friendly and being flirty?

If you would say and act the very same way you would to a friend, whether or not your partner were there, that’s (merely) friendly. Any behavior you would do differently if your partner were there is more likely flirtatious.

Unsurprisingly, most questions focused on—can you guess it?—the greater desire for sexual variety that men seem to have:

1. Dale Custodio asks: Are men really more prone/given to infidelity than women? Is this genetics or socialization or something else?

2. Annie Crespo asks: Are men really polygamous, in the sense that even though they are already married, their instinct to have sex really exist even with other partner or woman in life?

3. Bert Q. asks: Is infidelity a matter of nature or nurture?
Seems to be both: natural tendency is definitely there; but how easily it can be achieved depends on upbringing (modeling and development of “conscience”—ability to walk into another’s pair of shoes) upbringing, “fear factor”—kind of women you choose…

– Rappler.com