#AskMargie: Betrayal (part 2)

MANILA, Philippines – Have you ever been betrayed?

In the second part of this four-part series on betrayal, clinical psychologist Dr. Margie Holmes talks about the feelings of being betrayed and how to deal with it.

Watch:

Watch: #AskMargie: Betrayal (part 1) 

Script below:

I asked: “have you ever been betrayed?
Here are some of your answers:

Miradel Abellana: After two years of living together as a married couple, I found out that my husband had another daughter who was the same age as our own daughter. That betrayal left me angry, resentful, depressed and anxious. No matter how much effort he put to bring back the trust, he could not get it back …We’ve long been separated. And I am much happier now.

Anonymouse L: I left my husband because my trust was broken. I left my son in my husband’s care as I went out and worked 20 hours a day, 6 days a week. That was until he went into drugs and alcohol. The fact that I can’t trust you with my child is betrayal enough for me. If I can’t trust you with my loved ones, I cannot trust you with my own life.

Rica-Palomo Espiritu: Betrayal by parents. I lived in a violent household. The kind where I often feared for my life and for the lives of the ones I love. After crying out “why me?” a few friends and elders knocked some sense into me. I decided not to be a victim and I survived it. I left the family and started my own, away from their influence.

Anonymus H: Betrayal by lawmakers who misused their PDAF.

Then I asked: What would you do were you to discover you’d been betrayed? Here are your answers:

@IvanGirl_Bueno: Kill them… With sincere kindness until they can no longer live wit themselves with shame. Attract good karma!

@belle_mallari: Pretend nothing happened but post a shout out at a social network that would make them realize what they have done.

Kuya Blue: People that betray me should leave me alone. Why would I want to be a part of that scenario and so make that person be part of me? When trust has been compromised it is not healthy to go on. It happened once. It can happen again.

Alan Angeles: The best way to deal with them is not to deal with them at all.

Dub Dubdub: I’ll give them a mirror as a gift.

Diana Sayson says: Delete, block, or unfriend.

Jenny Juico: It’s either you move on, or like my bro taught me, “”don’t get mad, get even.”

Rafael Guillermo: The natural reaction is to get even, but as we mature, we just let it go. But now you know whom to trust.

Toots Gatmaitan: Give them the great ancient Egyptian curse: “May all your teeth fall off but one… and may that one ache till eternity.”

To which Rica Espiritu responds: I thought the ancient Egyptian curse was “May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch and may your arms be too short to scratch.”

MOI: Hmmmm, maybe the Egyptians were just a vengeful bunch and had thousands of unforgiving curses?

WRAP UP: But for this episode, let me focus on us Filipinos; and end with a Filipino’s take on being betrayed and how to deal with it.

Ferdz de O says: Although moving on is easier said than done, and that “out of sight out of mind” is an overrated motto…So, the BEST WAY still depends on a case by case basis… how right you are Ferd de O! There is no “best way” to deal with being betrayed. It is a function on our outlook on, and experiences in life, how much we valued the perceived traitor, how deeply he cut us, not only what works best for you but also for the people you love. And it is hard to find two people who are 100% similar on all these attributes.

–Rappler.com