Why women shouldn’t settle in love

MANILA, Philippines – In our search to find our own happily ever after, we find ourselves rushing to fall in love. Maybe it’s because we are pressured to not be the only single girl in our group of friends or we fear growing old alone.

What we see in movies may make us more hopeful in finding Mr. Right. It makes us look forward to the “it’s you and me against the world” type of love. But it’s not always like that.

When a woman falls in love, she can give everything to keep it together. But after quite some time she may find herself unhappy, thinking she deserves more. Or she wants to grow more as an individual. However, the fear of starting all over again may stop her from moving forward on her own and cause her to settle. She will convince herself that everything happens for a reason and that the everyday struggle will make the love grow stronger.

Sound familiar? If yes, we hear you.

Self-worth and loving oneself

If there’s anything you should fear, it’s settling in anything that you do, especially in love. Sometimes your feelings will overpower your logic, perhaps even your common sense, when you have to decide on your next steps in a relationship.

It’s never easy and it usually is easier said than done.

Sex health advocate and journalist Ana Santos thinks that a woman should first know her self worth. A woman shouldn’t be afraid of being on her own, marrying late, or making mistakes in relationships before finally finding or deciding what path to pursue. And a woman has to realize as well that there are many paths: staying single, living together with your partner or getting married are all viable options.

“Knowing your self-worth involves so much honesty and is tied in to self confidence. And when you are confident and believe in yourself, you really won’t settle for anything less,” says Ana.

Being in a relationship takes hard work. Sacrifices have to be made, but never forget about yourself and know your limits. A relationship should also bring out your best beautiful self. Be someone you are proud of and happy with.

Ruby Gan, mother and businesswoman, also expresses similar sentiments. “I believe women settle in love because they have not realized their inner strength, nor are they aware of their self-worth. They do not believe in themselves and what they are capable of on their own. A woman might settle because she is the last girl in the group who does not have a beau. She might settle because she is worried there might not be any guy for her. She settles because she might miss the last train. Women worry because they might not have children. So they begin to settle. “Mahal naman niya ako eh,” would be the phrase to appease her.”

But women can break this cycle of settling in love just for the sake of keeping their relationship. Ruby says that women should never lower their standards. If a woman knows her self-worth, she will not accept anything else.

Her advice? Be honest and acknowledge the mistakes you have done in the past. Mistakes are normal and are a part of your journey to finding the right partner for you. But do not settle and repeat mistakes. “Love yourself above all. Care for yourself. It is alright; it doesn’t mean you are selfish.” 

Being your best beautiful

Loving yourself inside and out is not easy but it’s not impossible. You just have to embrace who you are, accept your mistakes and believe that you do deserve so much better. Value yourself and never settle.

Being in a relationship, be it with friends or family, should make you a better person. If you find yourself saying, “Okay lang ito” or “Puwede na ito para sa akin,” you should think twice. Ask yourself, “Are you in a relationship for the right reason? Are you happy?”

Relationships take a lot of work and patience. If you really love your partner, you should also be looking out for yourself too so that your relationship will be real.

Don’t be scared to let go. Quiet down the “what ifs” that run through your mind. Never (ever) settle because you deserve only the best. Love yourself inside and out in order to be your #BestBeautiful. – Rappler.com

It wouldn’t hurt to take good care of yourself, especially your skin. How you present yourself to others will also show who you really are as a person and how much you value yourself. So live a life dedicated to improving yourself, no matter what.