‘I felt like my family threw me away’: Britney Spears talks conservatorship in 22-minute audio recording

MANILA, Philippines – A 22-minute audio recording surfaced on YouTube on Sunday, August 28, giving more details on Britney Spears’ “demoralizing” hardships during her conservatorship.

The video, which contained only sound, appeared unlisted on YouTube before it was made unavailable to the public. The link to the recording had been shared on Spears’ Twitter and Instagram account but were since deleted. Copies of the recording were however re-uploaded by netizens online. 

Several US media outlets like CNN and The Hollywood Reporter have reached out to Spears’ representatives to confirm its authenticity, but haven’t received any response. 

“I was scared and broken. I’m sharing this because I want people to know I’m only human. I do feel victimized after these experiences and how can I mend this if I don’t talk about it,” Spears said in the recording.

In the video, the “Toxic” singer said she had tons of interview opportunities including with Oprah, but decided that it’s better to “open myself to others and shed a light on it,” despite the fear of being judged for sharing her side of the story. 

She then gave a timeline of her 13-year conservatorship, mentioning her father, Jamie Spears, who was her conservator for most of the court-ordered arrangement. “The punishment of my father, I wasn’t able to see anyone or say anything…. None of it made sense to me,” she said. 

Spears shared that the start of the conservatorship was perplexing to her, but claims that it was all “pre-meditated” by her father and mother, Lynne Spears. “It was all basically set up. There were no drugs in my system. No alcohol. No nothing. It was pure abuse. And I haven’t even really shared even half of it.” the 40-year-old artist said. 

She reiterated her claims in court about the abuse she went through under her “dad’s control.” She was forced to work and go on tour, not allowed to drive and socialize, was monitored in her home, sent to a facility, and forced to give blood. All these experiences collectively made her feel traumatized and overworked, like she was a machine.

Spears mentioned her family frequently in the recording, saying she was angrier at her mother because she stayed silent when she could’ve helped the singer get a lawyer. 

“The whole thing that made it really confusing for me is these people are on the street fighting for me, but my sister and my mother aren’t doing anything,” she said. “I think that’s the main thing that hurt me. I couldn’t process how my family went along with it for so long…. Their only response was, ‘We didn’t know.’”

The singer felt like her family didn’t care about her despite all the heart she put into her work. “They literally killed me…. They threw me away. That’s what I felt — I felt like my family threw me away,” she said.

At the end of the audio, Spears promoted her comeback single in six years, “Hold Me Closer” with Elton John. “I have an amazing song right now with one of the most brilliant men of our time, and I am so grateful.” She also hopes that her message comforts others who are going through the same thing. “My life has been far from easy and you’re not alone.”

Following the release of the recording, the singer’s mother Lynne Spears posted a photo of her daughter on her Instagram, addressing Britney in the caption.

“Britney, your whole life I have tried my best to support your dreams and wishes!” Lynne wrote. “I have never and will never turn my back on you! Your rejections to the countless times I have flown out and calls make me feel hopeless! I have tried everything. I love you so much, but this talk is for you and me only, eye to eye, in private.”

The “Oops!…I Did It Again” star was finally freed from her conservatorship in November 2021. Spears has since then married her longtime boyfriend Sam Asghari and has secured a landmark deal with printing house Simon & Schuster for a tell-all memoir. – with reports from Sydney Cañamo/Rappler.com

Sydney Cañamo is a Rappler intern.