‘Abay Babes’ review: Sometimes sexy, mostly senseless

Don Cuaresma’s Abay Babes is a film that is never shy of where it sources its pleasures. 

It absolutely knows that its worth hinges on its ability to mix sexy and zany so it doesn’t really leave any room for anything for the brain. It stays clear of innovation as it doggedly relies on empty eye candy and the most juvenile of giggles, even to the point of tedium.

Everything to offer

The film’s prologue grants a glimpse of everything that Abay Babes has to offer. 

Right off the bat, it showcases its four leading ladies (Roxanne Barcelo, Cristine Reyes, Nathalie Hart and Kylie Versoza), all dressed in high school uniforms, dreaming about their perfect weddings while arguing about a boy. Later on, with the Mayon Volcano as their witness, they make a pact that they’ll stay as friends forever and be present for each other’s weddings.

So there you have it. In one efficient swoop, the film makes it clear that most of the film’s entertainment will be from the misadventures of four attractive women either declaring their love for each other or desperately feuding over the adoration of a single man.

The story starts many years after their pact. 

Goldie (Barcelo), the friend they least expected to get married first simply because she is deemed the least attractive, is about to get married. She assembles all of her friends from high school and a lesbian friend (Meg Imperial) from the States to accompany her back to Bicol where she is supposed to meet her future husband. Given the strange circumstances of Goldie’s sudden wedding, the girls, who relive their flimsy quarrels and jealousies, start to wonder if everything is just made up.

Skimpy bikinis, gags and jokes

The film makes most of the meager plot to crowd the film with scenario that will either have its actresses don skimpy bikinis or fire gags and jokes.

While it is clear that Abay Babes is selling the sexiness of its leads, it is also apparent that its bread and butter is its overt sense of humor. Its comedy is mostly a careless affair, oblivious of any repercussions of where it mines its laughs from.

For example, unreasonable standards of beauty are at the core of its humor, with the film pushing the idea that the overbite that it invents for Barcelo would render her as unsightly. Thankfully, Barcelo is quite a trooper of a performer, capable of getting past the crutch that is her prosthetic front teeth to showcase apt comic timing.

Cuaresma’s film is tolerable despite its being sometimes mean-spirited and confused because the performances here are very earnest. 

The women are all very aware that the goal of their existence in the film is nothing more than vulgar fun. They self-deprecate. They open themselves to ridicule, to jokes that tread the thin line between fact and fiction. As a result, Abay Babes feels more entertaining than it should. Each laugh it earns is to detriment of advancing modern sensibilities and political correctness.

However, there are just jokes here that seamlessly earn their sinful rewards. 

Brash and insensitive

Abay Babes is a mostly senseless affair. 

It is funny when all its elements are in accord. However, enjoying the film requires tons of caution as Abay Babes can be brash and insensitive. Treat it as it should be treated – as a mindless diversion. – Rappler.com 

Francis Joseph Cruz litigates for a living and writes about cinema for fun. The first Filipino movie he saw in the theaters was Carlo J. Caparas’ Tirad Pass.

Since then, he’s been on a mission to find better memories with Philippine cinema.