BB Gandanghari on life after legally becoming a woman

MANILA, Philippines –  BB Gandanghari has spoken up about legally being recognized as woman.

BB’s petition to change her gender and name was granted last November in the US. BB, formerly Rustom Padilla, filed the petition in August in California. She is the sister of Royette, Rommel, and Robin Padilla. (READ: BB Gandanghari is legally a woman)

In a 3-part Instagram post, BB recalled her journey and the struggles she faced as a transgender woman, starting in the 1990s, when she was still known as Rustom. According to BB, while she didn’t fear death back then, she feared life and the future.

“Since my life turned upside down sometime in the late 1990’s, I felt my life was stalled, [I was] embracing death, ready to face it eye to eye anytime… anywhere. FEARLESS? Maybe… I say maybe, because I was maybe fearless of death but I was definitely in FEAR of life. Life was just too much because if life is all about looking forward [to] the future and about goals and ambitions, I had none of it. Life proved to be unpredictable and full of surprises,” BB said.

Everything changed, she said, in 2016, when she became legally recognized as a woman and when she got her driver’s license in the mail. 

“[I was] ecstatic and overwhelmed because for the first time after everything has been said and done, I finally feel that I exist, that I’m on record and yes… that I’m ALIVE.”

1st of three parts… “WHAT IS EPIPHANY?” Since my life turned upside down sometime in the late 1990’s, I felt my life was stalled, embracing death, ready to face it eye to eye anytime… anywhere. FEARLESS? Maybe… I say maybe bec I maybe fearless of death but I was definitely in FEAR of life. Life was just too much bec if life is all about looking forward about the future and about goals and ambitions, I had none of it. Life proved to be unpredictable and full of surprises. Rustom eventually died and BB. emerged. But then during these times I feel that I was in a balance. Living in status quo, if you know what I mean. Of course I was going thru transition too and so I thought, must be the hormones. But it isn’t. I knew it was more than that. I still had no goals, content on just living on a day to day basis. Years passed and #Fall2016 came around. And everything just unfolded all of a sudden. I was ecstatic when I got my court order. Overwhelmed when my driver’s license finally came in the mail. Ecstatic and overwhelmed bec for the first time after everything has been said and done, I finally feel that I exist, that I’m on record and yes… that I’m ALIVE… to be continued… #beallthatyoucanbe #diversityinhollywood #expressyourself #trust #confidence #hollywooddream #legallybbofficiallygandanghari #dreamtobecome

A photo posted by gandangharibb (@gandangharibb) on Jan 2, 2017 at 7:43pm PST

In her second post, BB said she experienced an epiphany after coming across the line, “Life without ambition is like a bird without wings.”

BB wrote: “The reason why I feel so enthusiastic about everything is because now I have a goal, a dream, an ambition to achieve. And with this ambition comes the wings that I thought was clipped if not taken away forever. Praise be to my GOD.”

Second of three parts… “WHAT IS EPIPHANY?” Then winter came to be. For some reason, this time of the year just makes even the most unaffected be particularly vulnerable. So the past few days I’m thinking hard, in fact asking my GOD, in all humility, what now? Why is it that I feel so different, not anymore looking forward to death but on the contrary, I have so much anticipation as to what life has to offer. And I don’t feel stalled any longer, in fact very optimistic about the future, about LIFE. Then I read this, “LIFE WITHOUT AMBITION IS LIKE A BIRD WITHOUT WINGS…” and guess where? In the weirdest place ever, in the toilet while peeing of all places. Isn’t that crazy? But crazy it may be, I was struck with it, wondering right there and then the meaning of what I just read until I realized I’m experiencing an Epiphany. The dictionary.com defines it as a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. Bam!!! Gotcha! The reason why I feel so enthusiastic about everything is bec now I have a goal, a dream, an ambition to achieve. And with this ambition comes the wings that I thought was clipped if not taken away forever. Praise be to my GOD… to be continued… #dreamtobecome #legallybbofficiallygandanghari #hollywooddream #confidence #trust #diversityinhollywood #beallthatyoucanbe

A photo posted by gandangharibb (@gandangharibb) on Jan 2, 2017 at 7:53pm PST

In the last part of her post, BB encouraged her followers to dream. BB did not disclose the dreams she had for herself, but she added the hashtags “#hollywooddream” and “#diversityinhollywood” in her posts.

“Dream so we may look for our wings that we may not know that it even exist. Yes, as long as we have goals, ambitions to achieve… our wings will eventually manifest. And who says man can’t fly? Think again because I think we do, as high as as we want… SKY is the LIMIT. So prepare for take off guys, flap your wings and remember one thing, travel light so we can soar even higher. So help us God! Here we go 2017!!!! Cheers everyone.”

Last of three parts… “DREAM TO BECOME” Dream so we may look for our wings that we may not know that it even exist. Yes, as long as we have goals, ambitions to achieve… our wings will eventually manifest. And who says man can’t fly? Think again bec I think we do, as high as as we want… SKY is the LIMIT. So prepare for take off guys, flap your wings and remember one thing, travel light so we can soar even higher. So help us God! Here we go 2017!!!! Cheers everyone! #beallthatyoucanbe #diversityinhollywood #trust #confidence #hollywooddream #legallybbofficiallygandanghari #dreamtobecome

A photo posted by gandangharibb (@gandangharibb) on Jan 2, 2017 at 8:03pm PST

In 2006, BB, then known as Rustom, announced on Pinoy Big Brother: Celebrity Edition that she was gay. She later clarified that she was a transgender woman, and after taking time off, she came out as Binibini “BB” Gandanghari in showbiz, appearing in shows such as Enchanted Garden and 2 1/2 Daddies. – Rappler.com