Charice to Oprah on coming out: 'I was ready to lose my career'
MANILA, Philippines - In a new interview that aired Sunday, October 19 (October 20 in Manila), superstar singer Charice told Oprah Winfrey that when she publicly came out, she was prepared for the consequences.
“I thought of everything. That night when I was thinking about coming out, I was ready to lose my career, lose my fans. I was confident I would not lose my family because I knew that eventually they would understand me,” she told Oprah Winfrey during a "Where Are They Now" episode broadcasted on the OWN network.
She said that she felt like she was portraying a character for her mom and family for them to be happy, before she came out. (READ: Charice speaks up on bullies, says she wants respect)
"Before I came out, I was already a mess...when I was this person, you know, it felt like a character that I was portraying for my mom, for my family to be happy. When my father got murdered, that's when everything fell apart and I got even more depressed."
She also opened up about her father's murder, and said that they never had any closure.
“Losing my dad knowing that we did not have any closure, when I went to the funeral I saw him right there and just regretted everything,” she said.
She said that her father's death overwhelmed her and that she had suicidal thoughts – but categorically denied that she ever acted on them.
"The rumor is not true...I did not slit my wrists...but I thought of it. That was after my father got murdered...I wasn't okay with my family, I wasn't talking to my mom."
Charice’s father Ricky was murdered in 2011. She said that before his death, the last time they saw each other was around 17 years ago.
In the first part of her interview, Oprah aired a look-back portion, which showed a younger Charice detailing parts of her past – including a scary incident where she saw her father threating her mother with a gun. Here's a video clip published on the official YouTube channel.
Now 22, Charice said that her father’s death made her the person that she is today. In Oprah's words, his death "liberated" Charice.
"I took all the pain in me...made me stronger to tell myself that it's time to stand up and go out there."
In the interview, Charice also talked about coming out from the closet, saying that she knew she was gay at a young age.
“I knew when I was 5, I was in grade school and I saw this girl and I felt different. I didn’t know what it was but I just knew that time that it felt special…when I was 10, I was like, oh, that’s it, I’m gay…I found the word."
She said that she had no plans of changing her body, but that her "soul is male." (READ: Charice: 'My soul is male')
She said that when she came out gay, her mother Raquel was angry, but that things were now better.
Asked how her relationship now is with her mom, Charice said that everything is now okay with her and her mom. (READ: Singer Charice reconciles with mother)
“Everything is great. My partner and I will see her next month. And I can say now that we are really best friends. I couldn’t ask for more. I am happy."
Charice later tweeted her thanks to the network.
Thank you for the opportunity, @OWNTV. For letting me express myself and inspire people especially the young ones who are having a hard time— Charice (@SuperCharice) October 20, 2014
Charice also posted a screengrab of her interaction with the network on Instagram, with the caption, "Thank you Team Harpo for having me! Love you guys and more power! #WhereAreTheyNow #Charice @owntv @oprah."
Before the interview, she posted photos of herself with Oprah. Oprah first interviewed Charice in 2008, when Oprah's team discovered her through YouTube.
Charice was only 16 years old then, and had previously performed for another US talk show host – Ellen DeGeneres.
Her appearance on Oprah's show opened doors for Charice, leading to a performance with her idol Celine Dion, and paving the way for more exposure in the international scene. – Rappler.com