The most ridiculous items in this year’s Oscars swag bag

MANILA, Philippines – They say it’s an honor to simply be nominated for an Oscar, and now we know why: whether or not they win the coveted award, nominees in the acting and directing categories of the Academy Awards bring home a swag bag loaded with all kinds of goodies – and we’re not just talking about candies or face masks. (FULL LIST: Nominees, The Oscars 2018)

LA-based marketing company Distinctive Assets aptly calls the goodie bag the “Everyone Wins” bags, considering its contents (it should be noted that the company has gotten in trouble before for using the "Oscars" branding in its giveaways despite not being Academy-sanctioned).

This year, 26 actors and directors stand to take home a slew of items that all together cost a pretty penny – at least $100,000, according to USA Today.

Some items are simply luxury versions of the usual goodie bag swag: soy candles from Charleston & Harlow, lemonade-flavored moonshine from Southern Wicked Lemonade, detox tea by Quincy Herbals, color-changing lipstick by Blush & Whimsy.

Other items are certainly extravagant, but understandable as event giveaways: luxury vacations to Zanzibar, Tanzania, and Hawaii; a stay at a high-end resort in Greece; commissioned art work from Reian Williams Fine Art; and sessions with personal trainer Alexis Seletzky.

And then there are those items that are just downright bizarre and outrageous in the way that Hollywood lifestyles are. These are just some of the strangest ones:

Underarm sweat patches from Dandi Patch

#dandiReveal Say hello to the new and improved ladies dandi patch! Check out more on our website: (link in bio). #ImprovedPatch #NewPackaging #dandipatch #NoSweat #NoSweatMarks #NoOdour #NoWhiteMarks #NoParabens #NoAluminium #NoSweatStains #AdvancedSolution #ProtectYourClothes #BoostConfidence #FashionAccessory #Fashion #FashionPost #FashionBloggers #ProductLaunch #LoveIt #WomensFashion #WomensStyle #WomenInBusiness #LadiesNight #LadiesStuff #LadiesStyle #GirlyThings #GirlyBits #GirlyLook A post shared by dandi patch (@dandi_patch) on Sep 22, 2017 at 9:24am PDT

Because a star cannot be caught dead with sweaty underarms!

PepperFace lightweight pepper spray

Gifts to stay safe and in style A post shared by PepperFace (@thepepperface) on Jan 17, 2018 at 12:16pm PST

Presumably to ward off the paparazzi.

A 10,000-bowl donation to their animal shelter of choice, and pet food from Halo, Purely for Pets

Thanks to the YOU, our Halo customers, @greatergoodorg and #Freekibble, they've #donated over 20 Million meals to shelter dogs & cats like Jesse here from @spcawestchester who was rescued from Turkey with his brother & now happily helping receive another donation of yummy food! A post shared by Halo Pets (@halopets) on Feb 12, 2018 at 4:46pm PST

Weird, but also kind of sweet.


A levitating bluetooth speaker from Shop Modern Innovations

Rising above the rest with our infamous Levitating Speaker. A special sound guide cone coupled with levitation offers distortion-free timbre, that's capable of igniting all your senses. Plus it's Saturday so, treat yourself to good sound. SHOP: Link in bio. #GlobalShipping A post shared by Shop Modern Innovations (@shopmoderninnovations) on Feb 17, 2018 at 2:17pm PST

Weird, but also kind of cool.


An 18-minute phobia relief session with Kalliope Barlis

This is supposedly valued at $495 – a price tag that, for regular folks, probably induces fear more than relieves it.


23andMe DNA testing service

UPDATED: See comments section for information on potential winners selection. -- *NEW YEAR GIVEAWAY* A healthier 2018 may be in your DNA. Who of your family and friends do you want to get healthy with in the new year? We’re giving away two free 23andMe Health + Ancestry Service kits to 23 lucky winners. Enter now, so you can discover more about your DNA, work on your resolutions together, and #LiveInTheKnow! To enter: 1. Follow us! 2. Tag the family member or friend you want to get healthy with in the new year in the comments below and tell us why! 3. Make sure to use the hashtag #LiveInTheKnow in your comment so we don’t miss it! 4. You’re done! We look forward to seeing your responses! Winners will be announced by January 10th on Instagram Stories! (Only available in the U.S. Find the Official Rules at A post shared by 23andMe (@23andme) on Jan 3, 2018 at 2:49pm PST

So they can accurately update the “Early Life” section of their Wikipedia pages.


Pre-launch access to the NeverMissed dating app

Summer is basically here! Download the #NeverMissed app today! A post shared by NeverMissed (@nmtheapp) on Jun 5, 2017 at 10:23am PDT

Truly a gift, especially considering that Best Actor nominee Timothée Chalamet is among those people entitled to receive an Everyone Wins bag, and may just be on this dating app too.

The 2018 Oscars will be held on March 5, Monday, Philippine time. –