If your underarms could talk…

MANILA, Philippines – Managing one’s underarms is one of the more complicated parts of being a woman.

First, you have to shave, pluck or wax them regularly to keep them hair-free.

Second, you are to wear deodorant daily in order to make sure that the other people in the room don’t faint when you walk in.

Last but farthest from the least, after subjecting your skin to regular friction, stripping and chemicals, you are supposed to somehow keep them smooth, spotless and white.

Mission impossible right there.

Such is the plight of women today.

Personally, every time I read a survey about how a majority of men are turned off by dark underarms, I feel that they have no right to be so opinionated on the topic.

“Well, lucky for you, society lets you leave your armpits alone, hair and all,” I feel like retorting.

‘If your underarms could talk, what would they say?’

After the Vagina Monologues came out, we didn’t think other body parts had just as much to say.

But writers Joel Trinidad and Cathy Azanza-Dy had quite a few ideas:

• “Uy! Mura na magpa-laser ngayon.” 
• “Magsi-sleeveless ka? Sure ka ha.”
• “Why am I Fifty Shades of Gray?”
• “Wag ka mag-panic! Naiiyak ako eh!”
• “Ouch! Well pluck you too!”

In the process of writing the script, Joel Trinidad encountered lots of real stories and hilarious anecdotes: “…They did reveal some frustrations and insecurities among women.

“I never knew women went through such trouble just for the upkeep of the underarms.”

Starring Caisa Borromeo, Mayen Bustamante-Cadd and Angela Padilla, Unspeakably Yours: The Underarm Monologues brought to light the many issues women have about that particular part of their body that they don’t like to talk about in a one-night performance on October 10 at Teatrino in Greenhills.

Through these candid and humorous monologues, the women in the room managed to laugh and loosen up about bodily issues they’ve kept mum about: from the skin darkening resulting from obsessive plucking, the negative effects of enthusiasm (you involuntarily raise your arms), to the actual reason they’re addicted to pashminas.

The monologues encouraged women to not only appreciate what they have, but to take good care of it as well.

The last scenes had the 3 actresses raising their arms in celebration and encouraging the entire audience to do the same.

When the performance was over, one of my guy friends — who happened to be covering for a TV network — turned to me and asked, “Totoo ba talaga ang lahat ng yun? All those issues and concerns?”

I half smiled, half smirked at him. “Yeah.”

Now you know, boys. Now you know. – Rappler.com

Unspeakably Yours: The Underarm Monologues was presented by Dove Philippines in cooperation with Upstart Productions, directed by Cathy Azanza-Dy and Jenny Jamora.