Things I’ve learned from motherhood – a list

Anne De Jesus Portugal
There's no linear way on how to be a mom and no way to be a perfect one

LIKE NATURE. A mother’s love is next to God’s - unconditional

MANILA, Philippines – Here are some things I wish to share about motherhood. Let’s fashion it as a list.

1. Being a mom doesn’t mean being perfect.

It simply means nurturing our children the best way we possibly can. Expect to make mistakes – accept them and learn from them. There is no linear way on how to be a mom and no way to be a perfect one.

2. To fully appreciate your children, you must first appreciate yourself and the hard work you put in raising them.

As with any other rule in life, love yourself completely so you can give love as complete as you are.

3. Only a chosen few survive breastfeeding.

There was a questionnaire when I gave birth, and among the questions was: breastfeed or infant formula?

I checked breastfeed, of course. I was puzzled as to why any mom would opt for the other one. Then the breastfeeding time came and all I can say was…“That’s why.”

Number one: It hurts. Properly latched or not, it hurts.

Number two: Not all female species are gifted with abundant milk supply. No matter how hard they teach you to increase its flow… sometimes, it just doesn’t work. Don’t judge, just share the milk.

FOR ANOTHER VIEW, READ: Why you should care about breastfeeding 

4. We are our children’s hero but sometimes, we need some saving too.

We all go through phases. We get sad, depressed, angry, insecure… name it.

After all, the last time I checked, we are still part of the human race – we have feelings.

Sometimes, we just need to figure things out – maybe a little space for us to remember why We.Are.The.Bomb.

5. Our children will make mistakes. Guide them, do not crucify them.

We’ve already established that we, as parents, make mistakes. Why can’t our children make them too? They can and they will… repeatedly. Don’t sweat it, that’s how they will learn.

6. Mess is best rather than clean and stressed.

Clean the mess, turn around and it’s there again like magic. No matter how much you clean up, they will find a way to mess it up. Stay sane and let the mess stay.

7. Despite wanting to give your children everything, you are not everything they will need.

As they grow, their world grows with them. Eventually, that world will not be comprised of just you.

Other factors will seem to stomp on over you. Let them, so that your children would know how to deal with them.

In the end, believe that you still make up the biggest part of their world anyway.

8. When your child falls and hits his head, do not panic. (Evaluate first. And then panic.)

Not every fall is a bad fall. Things happen. Do not overreact.

However, be watchful of danger signs like fluid coming out of your child’s nose or ears after the impact. If you still feel uneasy, you can always seek advice from your doctor.

9. The perfect body doesn’t mean slim and sexy.

It simply means being healthy enough to take care of your children at least until they are ready to take care of themselves.

Our view of the universe changes at the sight of our children. Their welfare always comes first… our vanity, last.

10. Getting them to eat is hard labor.

Children are meant to be picky eaters. We are left with no other choice but to be frustrated.

11. So is putting them to sleep.

They can’t seem to grasp the value of it especially when they are the species of bottomless energy.

12. When you’re a mom, you do not reach the end.

You give and give and then give some more.What a mom would not do for her children.

A mother’s love is next to God’s. Unconditional, indeed.

13. Unless it’s food, then that’s debatable.

Well, moms need to eat too. And when we want to indulge in our favorite food – come on, don’t open your mouth with googly eyes and ask for your share. At least give us that.

14. Patience must be replenished every waking day.

It’s one of those things that could easily run out if we’re not careful. Every bit of it must be utilized until the last drop.

15. In order to wake up, we must sleep.

Sleep deprivation triggers immediate loss of patience. Must sleep to refill patience.

16. Our children will stray away and play, but at the end of the day, guess whose name they will say?

Yours. Believe it.

17. We never get tired of smelling our children… after their bath.

We love our children, no question about that.

But our noses aren’t stink-proof. After a sweaty play day at the park, we’d prefer them fresh and clean for cuddle time.

18. Being punctual (or late) depends on when the baby’s poop is gonna come out.

They pick the worst possible time to do their business, particularly when we are already late.

They are the perfect excuse to be late anyway. No questions asked.

19. When you lay your head on their little chest to feel their heartbeat, you’d swear to do everything possible to protect them.

Every parent would agree on this one.

20. You will get angry at your children for a lot of reasons.

You will shout at them, scold them, and even punish them.

But at the end of the day, you will be the one who will love them forever and they will love you just the same.


Flowers photo from Shutterstock 


Anne De Jesus Portugal traded journalism, despite her love for writing, to become a full-time mom. She now lives in California and continues to write about love and relationships on her blog,