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MANILA, Philippines – The role of a mother has changed drastically over the years.
We now have what we call working moms, and moms who have to work as part-time moms and part-time of the demanding jobs they have. Sometimes, they even have to sacrifice bonding time with their kids for the expense of work.
But for Alicia Dy, editor-at-large of Town & Country magazine, the hectic schedule of work will never get in the way of spending quality time with her kids.
“Soccer mom”
The editor and gourmand is nothing short of a soccer mom – juggling her busy professional life of writing, editing and managing photoshoots while, at the same time, fulfilling a much bigger role as a mother for her two wonderful daughters, Alexa (12) and Audrey (7). Both she and her husband are in the media industry but the spontaneity of the work doesn’t stop her from making allowances for her family.
An editor’s job can be quite daunting, but in Alicia’s case, being editor-at-large allows her to have more freedom in her time for both work and home. She doesn’t have to set herself for work every single hour and have her time accountable for someone else.
When there’s an important task that needs to be done, Alicia begins it before entrusting it to a colleague, then she picks up her kids from school, brings them somewhere else, and fulfills other mommy-and-wife duties. She then continues to work (usually) at night-when everyone’s asleep, shielded by the cool tranquillity the night brings.
Quantity, not just quality
For Alicia, it’s not just about spending time with the kids as soon as you can. It’s about as much as you can.
A food writer and aficionado, she would frequently take her daughters out to eat or try new restaurants. Although she admits she doesn’t do sports together with them, Alicia says she always makes sure to watch them have fun with their friends.
“Just being there is the same as being with them,” is what she believes.
During more carefree hours, her eldest daughter, Alexa (who’s into music), would crawl into bed with Alicia and, together, they listen to whatever music they want and watch videos from the internet. Along with shopping, any sort of bonding activity is more or less unplanned.
“Tiger mom”
Alicia describes herself an “80% Tiger Mom.” This means that she’s strict — but not in a way that she wants her kids to do their best for her but for themselves, for whatever life has in store for them in the future.
Being lazy is something that is absolutely not allowed in her watch.
She takes the role of the strict parent quite seriously. “That’s my role. Everyone has their roles,” she tells RAPPLER.
Based on what we observed at the shoot, it seems that Alexa and Audrey are already used to her yelling, though. “When it’s their dad who yells or gets mad, they get more scared,” Alicia laughingly shares.
Own choices, own mistakes
Unlike most mothers, Alicia believes that — since every child is different — different rules apply to each of them. Even among siblings, children are naturally different from each other, having unique personalities and different preferences as well as perceptions.
This is why Alicia is quick to point out that one cannot apply the same parenting style to every child.
Some children need more guidance than anyone in the family; some don’t. It really depends on the situation at hand and on the personalities of the children.
Like her daughters, for example: one is quiet and calm while the other is teeming with energy and stories to share. One is social and the one is more of an introvert. It all boils down to their psyche.
Probably one of the best lessons Alicia imparts to her daughters is allowing them to make their own choices and making them understand that they are responsible for their outcome. She’s not the “bawal” (unallowed) this and that kind of mother; instead, she logically presents them with choices and lets them figure out the consequences themselves.
For example, when it comes to junk food, she would warn them, “Okay, you can have your junk (food) today but that’s gonna keep you awake; that’s a lot of sugar. How much sugar did you have today?”
“It’s an exercise. I believe you have to be healthy but you have to live a little to enjoy,” says Alicia. “They’re young. They have choices and have to be responsible for them.”
“I teach them how to balance things,” she adds.
While younger Audrey is more like her dad, older sister Alexa is more like her mother than just in appearances and interests. Like Alicia, Alexa has an innate passion for writing and wants to pursue a career in journalism someday. – Rappler.com
(Photography by Shaira Luna. Styling by Paige Occenola. Makeup by Mica Tuano. Hair by Eddie Mar Cabiltes. Accessories by SM Department Store. Shot on location at Edsa Shangri-La Hotel.The blogs have started coming in and we encourage you to keep sending them: Father’s Day is almost here! Send us your stories and photos with subject heading WORLD’S BEST DAD to desk@rappler.com. Join us on June 17, Sunday, 3PM, for a live Tweet convo @rapplerdotcom #loveyoudad.)
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