Rachel Alejandro: Why ‘All Out of Love’ is all worth it

The world premiere of All Out of Love, also known as the Air Supply musical, finally happened on October 18 at Resorts World.

It was a day anticipated with much excitement by the all-Filipino cast and the Australian creative team who had been in Manila mounting the show for a whole month. And yet during the intermission, I found myself alone, holed up in the rehearsal hall on the third level of the Newport Performing Arts Theater, the same room where I auditioned last March, this time completely empty.

And like before, I was gripped by fear, a singer’s worst nightmare: losing my voice.

Back then I only had a couple of days to learn an unfamiliar song, “You Are The Reason” – and very typical of me in these situations, I entered the audition room a nervous wreck, shaking and with my throat completely frozen. When I sang, I forgot lyrics and couldn’t hit the high notes. Seeing how petrified I was, director Darren Yap, god bless his kind heart, gave me a few chances to do it over — but still I couldn’t pull it off.

I was surprised when I got a callback for the next day. It was a dance call, and I thought I was done for the day when Darren asked me back in to the room to give me one last crack at the same song.

Panicking, I thought there was no way I could perform it any better than the day before because the stress had made my voice hoarse. Buying time, I asked for 15 minutes to regroup. I then locked myself into one of the rooms and began vocalizing. I thought of walking out, of throwing in the towel. But I willed myself to do it one more time, and then just accept that fact that I would most likely not get the part.

Miraculously, I got through the song fairly okay and after the final note, the Australians clapped! I don’t think they did so because it was so great, but rather that they felt relieved for me. When I exited, the people waiting for their turn in the hallway looked at me in awe; they said they had never heard anybody else applauded before. Laughing, I shared with them what actually happened.

I could barely believe it when a week later while I was in the U.S., I was told I was shortlisted and as a final audition, was asked to send in a video singing, “Lost in Love”. I did and I guess they liked it because shortly after, I got an email from the producer, Naomi Toohey, offering me the part.

Flash forward to opening night and I am in the same exact predicament in that little room, praying for a miracle. Unlike how the sound is set up for concerts, you don’t get your vocals in the monitors when it’s a musical because the headworn microphones we use will cause feedback. And because the theater at Resorts World is so massive, I couldn’t hear myself from speakers facing the audience.

Driven by adrenalin, it’s easy to inadvertently overcompensate and hurt your vocal chords. I had managed to do that in just one song, and I didn’t know how I would get through Act 2. So I put on my vocalization recording again as I had done before and just stretched my chords, like an injured athlete with no choice but to get back in the game.

I got through the show, not happy with my performance and wanting the earth to swallow me whole, but then I began getting congratulatory messages from friends and family that watched.

They absolutely loved the show.

I personally think All Out of Love is highly entertaining, with the Air Supply songs beautifully and effectively interpreted by the artistic team led by co-director Jacinta John, choreographers Travis Khan and Yvette Lee and given a fresh orchestration by Stephen Amos. And because it is a world premiere, this has never been done before; unlike musicals that have already been on Broadway, we had no idea if people would love it or hate it.

This passion project of Naomi and co-producer Dale Harrison took 6 years to come to fruition. Little did they know their journey would lead them to staging it in the Philippines, where the music of Air Supply have ruled the airwaves for generations. I am happiest most for them as we are getting such great reactions from our audiences. There is no question, this show they dreamed up brings joy to those who come and see it. I pray with all my heart they are able to bring it around the world, particularly to Australia as they have always hoped.

Except for those who really know me and my vocal capacity, I don’t think (or hope!) anyone else noticed my voice cracked at one part or that there was anything wrong with me on that opening night. I was thankful and yet I felt so completely alone because no one really understood.

After 30 years in the business, how is this still happening to me? Do I really need this stress? Is the glory worth the self-doubt and those moments when I descend to the pit of despair? Is this what has led so many singers like myself to self-medicate to the point of destruction?

Written by Jim Millan, All Out of Love is a romantic comedy that may seem simple at the surface. Without giving away too much of the plot, the story is about an unhappy rockstar played by MiG Ayesa and an up-and-coming singer-songwriter, Rayne (me).

It focuses on the struggle to remain on top and having to make difficult choices, like giving up love to stay there. And in my character’s case, trying to make it in a competitive world and never seeming to get a lucky break despite having the talent. These are all issues I know only too well.

I realize now that my life experiences, including painful ones, have prepared me to flesh out Rayne, a small town girl who came to New York City like so many hopeful, talented musicians before her.

How many of us Filipino artists are fortunate enough to make it on the international stage like Lea Salonga, Joanna Ampil or MiG Ayesa? And when the opportunity does come, who of us are willing to make the sacrifice like dealing with the pressure or the loneliness from being away from our loved ones for months on end?

The answer to those questions came to me on our gala night, a couple of days after we opened. During our curtain call, I had the honor, along with 24 of my cast mates, to share the stage and bow hand in hand with Graham and Russell of Air Supply.

My eyes were wet as I took in the cheers and thunderous applause from the adoring audience, wondering to myself what these two white-haired legends beside me, who have sold more than a million records and countless jam-packed concerts worldwide, must feel as they watch a musical celebrating their lives’ work. What did they have to do to get here? What did they give up? And because I am a true empath, I felt their pride and pure happiness course through my body.

Whatever it was — yes, it was all worth it.

Once-in-a-lifetime moments like that one, and those times when we nail a performance exactly right – like I finally did when I recovered my voice from that opening night, not according to a director or the audience but to our very own standard — make us performers come back to the stage again and again, despite all the fear and drama that come with it.

That’s the glory we live and die for. – Rappler.com 

 

Rachel Alejandro is a singer-actress, producer and author. Catch her in ‘All Out of Love,’ running now until Oct 28 at the Newport Performing Arts Theater, Resorts World Manila. Tickets are out now on Ticket World Manila.