[Two Pronged] Penis size problem

Jeremy Baer, Margarita Holmes

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[Two Pronged] Penis size problem
Are penis enhancement methods safe and effective?

Rappler’s Life and Style section runs an advice column by couple Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr Margarita Holmes.

Jeremy has a master’s degree in law from Oxford University. A banker of 37 years who worked in 3 continents, he has been training with Dr Holmes for the last 10 years as co-lecturer and, occasionally, as co-therapist, especially with clients whose financial concerns intrude into their daily lives.

Together, they have written two books: Love Triangles: Understanding the Macho-Mistress Mentality and Imported Love: Filipino-Foreign Liaisons.

Hi Dr Holmes and Mr Baer, 

Good day! This is Josh, 24 years old, from Manila. I have some questions for you. When I watch porn videos, I envy those boys who have big dicks, and believe it or not, I want to achieve that too. Is it okay to drink penis enlargement tablets? Is it safe? And will I experience side effects when I do it? Before, what I did is the natural way, which is “jelqing,” but I stopped. What is the safest and surest way to achieve a big package for a man like me?

Thank you very much and more power!

Regards,

Josh

———–

Dear Josh, 

Thank you for your email. 

The male belief that he is inadequately endowed in the penis department and the consequent desire for enhancement seems to have been a concern for thousands of years. Many treatments have been promoted over time, but the fact is that most have been either ineffective or fraudulent, or both. Science has not unequivocally endorsed a single non-surgical option, which perhaps ought to lead us to believe that while further research may possibly produce a “cure,” in the meantime, except in extreme cases, we must simply make the best of what we have. For those interested in a more comprehensive view, please see this article from BJUI, formerly known as the British Journal of Urology.

Why is penis size so important? The penis has of course been a symbol of masculinity since prehistoric times and the correlation between penis size on the one hand and power and strength on the other continues to influence our lives today. Early man and woman prized strength and size for practical reasons, since much work was manual and possessions (which then included women) required physical protection. When one adds to the mix the correlation between physical attributes and sexual success, it is understandable that body image, in general, and penis size in particular, became issues.

This mindset has persisted despite the industrial revolution and in modern times has been exacerbated by the media and the internet, which have, first, promoted unrealistic body ideals; and second, made porn (and thus comparisons beyond the borders of most people’s experiences) so pervasively available. This mindset has also persisted despite considerable evidence that most (though not all) women do not consider that bigger is better. In general, they value technique over size and the security of a relationship over a casual encounter.

Against this background, what are men’s reasons for wanting bigger penises? There seems to be a number of different possibilities. Firstly, and least likely, it is job-related – eg they wish to be porn stars and need the appropriate equipment. Secondly, they have penises that are small by any standard. Thirdly, they have been criticized by a partner for the size of and/or their performance with their penis. Fourthly, they are simply convinced that a bigger penis will make them more attractive, more self-confident and more successful, or at least less unattractive, less insecure, and less unsuccessful, in the sexual arena.

Those like you, Josh, who appear to fall into this last category often seem to be totally deaf to the outside world. After all, your plans for this penis involve a partner in an activity – sex – in which two, not one, players have their separate roles, their separate likes and dislikes, their separate fantasies, et cetera. Yet you are taking no account of this at all. What if your future partner does not relish the thought, much less the actual experience, of a humongous penis?

Your approach seems similar to that of a chef who wants to create a special meal to woo an unidentified potential lover and is dead set on choosing the dishes now. What are his chances of success with no input from his guest? Choosing the menu before knowing who the guest will be is scarcely guaranteeing success. Not everyone wants to be courted with a huge steak, after all. Some prefer something a little subtler, for example, or are vegetarians. 

All of this seems to militate against trying to upsize. Instead, forget the big picture, find yourself a real partner, and set about building a deep and meaningful relationship that centers around what that particular person wants.

All the best,

JAF Baer 

Illustration by Nico Villarete

Dear Josh,

Thank you very much for your letter. Mr Baer has written what I feel (hopefully accurately and with no bias whatsoever ) is one of THE best answers to questions about penis size that I have ever read, weaving history, philosophy, science, correct – as opposed to false – analogy, and humor.  

Thus, I am limiting my contribution to information regarding the possibilities of increasing penis size both from scientific journals and from one website which, albeit obviously wanting money more than anything else, might be worth a look if one were desperate for what it offers (which I am not sure it can deliver). But you are a man of 24, so, in the end, despite my fervent wish that you do NOT fall for this claptrap, here is the information so you can decide for yourself.

One of their leading advisers and, in fact, the only one they seem truly proud of  is “Dr Howard II,” a male enhancement expert who personally gained 3 inches in length and two inches in girth.

Is it just me or do you also feel his credibility is not necessarily enhanced by knowing exactly how many inches his penis (supposedly) got longer and chubbier?

I read about 20 scientific journals on penile lengthening, but the ones I found most helpful were the following:

In “Non-invasive methods of penile lengthening: fact or fiction?” authors Marco Oderda and Paolo Gontero say the efficacy of penile traction for patients seeking a penile lengthening procedure is supported by (some) scientific evidence. There are a few more studies about penile extenders. 

The general consensus is that these devices can produce durable lengthening of the penis, anywhere ranging from +.5 cm to +3.1 cm, depending on the actual product used (from Spain, the States) and also on the number of hours they have to be attached during the day (for as long as 6 hours, in many cases). Personally, wearing something that stretches one’s penis while you’re working, sleeping, eating(!!) sounds utterly painful and so not worth it, but perhaps the fact that I do not have a penis I want lengthened has a lot to do with it. 

By the way, these extenders are effective mainly for length, not for girth. 

Other devices to increase penis size include penoscrotal rings and the injection of botulinum toxin.

Penile lengthening exercises have no scientific evidence to back up their claims but many men seem encouraged by the idea of a non-invasive, low-cost method of having their penis enlarged. By way of example, if you search Google for the combination “penile lengthening exercise,” you will find over 40,000 entries.

So there you have it, Josh. Mr Baer’s and my answers to your question. In all candor, I feel Mr Baer’s response is the much more helpful one. However, because we also like to respond to the readers’ expressed needs and not just what we feel he should need, we decided to add my bit. We hoped we’ve helped, and should you need anything more from us, please write again. We also hope that, should you decide to try any of the methods mentioned above, you write to us and share your experience so others may benefit from it. 

All the best,

MG Holmes

Need advice from our Two Pronged duo? Email twopronged@rappler.com with subject heading TWO PRONGED. Unfortunately the volume of correspondence precludes a personal response. 

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