Indonesia

[Dear Lola Saturnina] Advanced ako mag-isip kaya walang love life

Lola Saturnina
[Dear Lola Saturnina] Advanced ako mag-isip kaya walang love life
'I have sabotaged multiple potential relationships and I do really think na it's due to my perfectionism'

Editor’s Note: Rappler’s Life & Style section will be publishing an advice (you can also call it an intervention) column penned by @LolaSaturnina of Twitter snark fame. So if you’re in the mood to snap out of your tanga, need re-affirmation, or just happen to like writing letters, do drop us a line at lolasaturnina@gmail.com with the email header [DEAR LOLA SATURNINA]. 


Dear Lola Saturnina,

I have sabotaged multiple potential relationships and I do really think na it’s due to my perfectionism. Not towards the person I admire, pero sa sarili ko. It has always been stuck in my head that they are better off with someone else, someone better than me.

I just cannot go on knowing that I am the reason they are not happier or growing even more. Paminsan, masyado lang talaga ako advanced mag-isip. What do I do? 

Nagmamahal,

Asia


Dear Asia,


Baka tama ka. O baka insecure ka lang.

Usually, deep down, alam mo naman kung alin yung insecurity lang and alin yung talagang may kailangan kang ayusin sa sarili mo. Kung di ka sigurado, hagilapin mo ang pinaka-pranka mong kaibigan, yung kaya ka talaga niyang sabihan na “Bes ang drama mo, sapatusin kita dyan eh!” (Tapos i-libre mo sya, yun na yung therapy fee nya)

Hindi ka pa rin solb?

Sabi mo sa sulat mo, “multiple potential relationships” – so ibig sabihin, hindi pa kayo, pero ayaw mo na ituloy kasi feeling mo mas magiging masaya sila sa iba? Perfectionism ba yan, o fear of rejection? Itanong mo sa sarili mo kung bakit mo palaging iniisip na “they are better off with someone else.”

Ikaw naman, di mo man lang binigyan ang sarili mo ng pagkakataon.

Hija, kung hindi mo subukan, ‘di mo malalaman kung kayo nga ba yung magkakatuluyan. Baka ka nga masaktan, pero baka rin hindi!

Pero sa totoo lang, malamang masasaktan ka, kasi usually marami kang kailangang pagdaanan sa pag-ibig bago mo makilala yung The One. So ang payo ko sa yo, magsimula ka na! Ang mga pagkakataong umibig ay madalang dumating. Kapag narito na, ating samantalahin! 

Alalahanin mo lang na you don’t need to be perfect to deserve love. You are enough.

Si Hitler nga, may nagmahal sa kanya, ikaw pa kaya? (Pero wag mo sya tularan, ha. Bad maging diktador sa pag-ibig, pero tuta keri.)

Nagmamahal,

Lola Saturnina

– Rappler.com

Add a comment

Sort by

There are no comments yet. Add your comment to start the conversation.