#HustleEveryday: How to deal with an office breakup

Dating in the office is completely normal. It happens in almost every workspace given the time and proximity we spend with our colleagues. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, but it carries tremendous effects if a breakup happens.

It won’t be very easy for anyone, but it’s important to prioritize yourself, recognize your responsibilities, and explore further options if the time comes.

Prioritize yourself

Opening yourself to someone isn’t an easy task. It entails so much time, effort, and energy that a potential breakup could suck all the life out of you. You can say that you’ve grown as a person, but that’s not going to reassure you immediately after the breakup. Imagine saying you’re charging it to experience like nothing happened, when deep inside all you want to do is sulk and cry while you indulge in a 24-hour Netflix binge.

If you’re going through this challenging time, then you should always remember to prioritize yourself.

We’re human and we all have our limits to these unfortunate instances. Some may handle them better than others, but that doesn’t mean you should be hard on yourself if they affect you negatively. Office breakups can have different effects on people. Some can jump back to work like nothing happened while most of us can look like a total wreck.

No matter how many people carry the situation well, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s a heavy burden on your end.

So if you feel like you need that Netflix binge, then go for it. Consult your company policy and your supervisor if you can take a leave. There’s no guarantee that you’ll be a hundred percent healed after – you most likely won’t. But at least it’s a step you’re taking for yourself.

This is important because the company will move on with their operations regardless of your relationship status. The harsh truth is, it’s business as usual, and enduring a full workload with an unstable emotional state is a recipe for burnout.

Recognize your responsibilities

But it also doesn’t mean that you’re free to slack off. If you do get approval for time away from the office, keep in mind that deliverables will be there to welcome you back. Picture how your family welcomes home a relative who was abroad for 20 years. That’s how enthusiastic your work will be when you come back after 3 days.

It’s best to cushion the inevitable influx of work by managing expectations early on. Explain to your leader and teammates that you’re suffering from an office breakup. Let them know what you’re going through. If you’re not comfortable with your other teammates, then that’s completely normal. But at least let your supervisor know what’s up.

It doesn’t have to be a step-by-step narration of the whole breakup. That might be too much drama to be discussed over coffee inside the office pantry. Your boss isn’t there to be a counselor, but giving them the overview of your situation will help with your responsibilities. As leaders, they should be able to possess empathy to understand your situation.

Explore future options

One of the biggest complications of an inter-office breakup is that, sooner or later, you will bump into your ex.

That’ll be awkward and it will drive you crazy. Although there are no surefire means to avoid that encounter, there are ways to minimize it. There are a variety of options for this, depending on the versatility of your company policy.

Reduce the possible zones where you may interact with your ex so that you can fully focus on your work. Take your lunch break outside of your common time together. If the two of you are used to meeting precisely at 12 noon inside the office pantry, then it’s time to explore other options.

Go out, get some fresh air, eat in that fancy restaurant, or explore every Jolly Jeep you see. Change your routine, and the less you see your ex, the more you can zero in on what’s important.

If you’re not a fan of having a major haircut after a breakup, then maybe symbolize your change through something else. Instead of a breakup cut, maybe you can explore a breakup cubicle. You can request a different location from your supervisor. Sometimes a change in your surroundings can clear things and signal a fresh start.

If these still don’t work, then try to take it up a notch by inquiring about internal job posts that fit your qualifications. It may take more effort, but at least it’s not as extreme as leaving the company on such short notice.

Breaking up with someone is never easy, and for it to happen with someone you work with makes it more complicated. But always keep in mind to take care of yourself and make decisions that will benefit you. In the end, it all boils down to having the proper balance. You’re being paid to work, but you should also put yourself as the top priority. – Rappler.com

This Part 3 of our three-part #HustleEveryday Valentine’s series.

Part 1: Is it ok to date my boss?

Part 2: Should office romances be kept a secret?