“’Wag ninyong hayaan ang inyong pag-aaral ay maging sagabal sa inyong edukasyon” – Gary Granada, iskolar ng bayan

(‘Do not allow studies to get in the way of your education)

Four years ago, passing the University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT) didn’t just equate to fulfilling my dreams. It also meant an indispensible opportunity to obtain quality education despite my family’s limited means to support one. 

To put it simply, I did not just want to pass the UPCAT — I needed to.

I remember how my mom scared me weeks before I went to take the UPCAT and said, “Kung hindi UP, wala (It’s UP or nothing).”

I never had the chance to know if she was serious about that because fortunately, I passed the dreadful exam that made me a proud iskolar ng bayan.

Looking back

My exam was scheduled on a Saturday morning. Armed with a prayer, two pencils, a water jug and snacks, I trooped to the testing center, not knowing what to expect, not even wanting to expect anything lest I only disappoint myself. 

You see, UPCAT, like love, is an experience that requires a “live-the-moment” attitude. If you overthink, assume or pin your hopes on it, you’re headed for a heartbreak. 

The proctor briefed us — no, scared us — about how only a select few get to enter UP. I carefully swallowed the lump in my throat and clung to the thin thread of hope that I would be part of the select few she was referring to.

Inside, I was hugging myself. I knew it was going to be a long shot to the stars.

As I carefully shaded each circle of the letter of my choice answers in the exam, I knew I was also drawing my future. I tried to ignore the pressure slowly engulfing me.

There were many questions I answered without certainty. And throughout the exam, my mother’s words were echoing inside my head. I passed my paper completely unsure of what lay ahead. Needless to say, my need to pass UPCAT due to our not-so-privileged status made the experience more grueling.

Who knows how many others from the 60,000 hopefuls at the time were pressured as I was because there was no other school they could go to and afford but UP? There must have been many of us who felt the same way.

Beyond comfort zones

But perhaps the pressure did me good. I made it to UP.

I passed the first hurdle to become an iskolar ng bayan. But there were other hurdles to clear in what has been known to be the premier state university.

UP is supposed to provide quality education to the disenfranchised and underprivileged who are deserving. But through the years, this has changed, leaving many of us who know better, disappointed. Even the more privileged have made it to UP’s doors.

Because of such changes, I learned to care beyond my narrow self-interest. I found myself getting involved in the clamor for change the country needs to benefit the truly disenfranchised.

I abandoned my comfort zone many times because I knew I should and because I realized it’s a good way to give back. I’ve tried to make sure state funds invested in my education are not put to waste. I stay up late, cram for papers, skip meals, and study hard. Trust me when we I say it’s not easy to become an iskolar ng bayan.

I cannot tell what it would be like for the next batch of scholars. Following the trend, it may be more difficult for them. But I hope this does not deter the more than 70,000 UPCAT examinees this year.

To the UPCAT examinees taking the tests this weekend, try to learn the UP way, and do not forget to pay back. – Rappler.com