Breastfeeding dad to KC Montero: Respect, listen to mothers

Editor’s note: Celebrity host KC Montero earned the ire of many netizens on Thursday, September 11, after he said in his radio program that mothers should cover their breasts when breastfeeding in public. (READ: Should mothers cover their breasts while breastfeeding?)

I actually wasn’t able to listen to your banter on your radio program about breastfeeding mothers to cover their breast while doing so. But it has now become a talk of the town especially for the breastfeeding community.

Obviously, you’ve pissed them off! And to quote one of your tweets: “We are not against public breastfeeding, but while I believe that is every mother’s right to breastfeed wherever and whenever you want, I just feel that discretion is also necessary to not make other people around you feel awkard or uncomfortable, and to stop perverts from staring.” 

Well as you’ve said, you are entitled to your own opinion. Granted. But let me say to you, your opinion is nothing but hypocritical, insensitive and misogynistic.

And please stop saying you are not against breastfeeding in public because you are. Stop saying you know their rights because I am pretty sure you don’t.  As you’ve said on your radio program, “they breastfeed as if they own the mall.” Stop saying anything against breastfeeding because you know nothing.

Listen.

I am also a man. I am actually a “breastfeeding Tatay (father)” with our 4-week old Baby Boy.

And I feel you, Bro. But I don’t understand where your stance is coming from. Well, that’s why I find your statement hypocritical.

I find it hypocritical that someone coming from an industry that promotes decadency, where boobs are indiscriminately being exposed to the public from TV to print and women are treated as commodities, is saying women should cover their breasts while feeding their children.

Well, for your information, mothers do not breastfeed publicly because they merely want to show their breasts. It is not even to commercialize themselves. It is actually not a big deal to them because they are just feeding their babies. It is normal.

Why should it be a big deal to you? Why is it offensive to you seeing a mother feeding her child?

The problem lies on how you see woman’s breasts and how you respect them. And to see or associate breasts in a sexual manner is ignorant and misogynistic. Even Pope Francis has no problem with a mother breastfeeding next to him. In fact, he encourages mothers to feed their babies in church whenever it is needed. 

Other people may have an opinion same as yours. They are even more insensitive to the breastfeeding mothers. And it hurts us husbands who fully support our wives in this journey.

Our children need nourishment. It hurts us when we see our wives being humiliated by authorities, by strangers, known personalities like you, and even our own families because they opted to breastfeed publicly without covering their breasts.

Breastfeeding mothers deserve respect. They do nothing wrong. They are actually giving the best to our children through breastfeeding. 

Just like what a friend of mine who is also a proud breastfeeding mother said, “Basically a woman’s body is not sinful but if it made you sin, then it is your fault not the woman’s.” The choice to cover or not rests on the mother and not on onlookers.

It is not about being inconsiderate to others. In case you don’t want to see breasts of a breastfeeding mother, then go away. Nursing mothers don’t breastfeed in public for your pleasure. 

You are one of the reasons why advocates work so hard to normalize breastfeeding. Breastfeeding isn’t awkward. It supposed to be normal. Breasts were created to provide nourishment to an offspring. It is not just for you sexual pleasure.

I even feel more proud seeing my wife breastfeeding our baby in public. I want her to breastfeed in public without a cover because we want to make breastfeeding a normal thing in our society, an acceptable way of nourishing our child.

We know we have a lot more things to do to make other people realize our advocacy – to normalize breastfeeding. Our society needs it. In a country where people are suffering from extreme poverty, breastfeeding is one of the greatest things to do to nourish our child. And we hope that time will come when people are smiling instead of getting annoyed or offended when they see breastfeeding mothers.

In our case, as we also have a child who happens to be a boy, I want the values, the respect for woman and her body to be instilled in our child, so that when he grows up, he will not simply be distracted or offended by a woman breastfeeding her child. 

Lastly, I hope you learned from mothers who expressed their sentiments through Twitter and Facebook. They are deeply hurt by your words. You’ve caused them pain. This confirms why your opinion is not just your own opinion – because you are a public icon. You are supposed to be sensitive with what you say. Remember, as a celebrity your voice is louder than us. And I hope you use this opportunity to promote goodwill to our generation. – Rappler.com

Jaime de Guzman is a 25-year-old father. He is a member of the following support groups: Breastfeeding Pinays, Babywearing Philippines, Modern Cloth and Nappying Philippines, and Gentle Birth Philippines.