On slut-shaming

In a previous article about one-night stands, I stumbled across a comment linking to a Facebook profile saying that a reader “found Janina Suarez.” Another added that “She seems like the type.”

That comment has been deleted from the article to protect the alleged “Janina Suarez.” (That wasn’t me folks, sorry. That just happened to be a girl named Janina Suarez, who also happens to carry my pseudonym.) In a recent Facebook post about the article someone commented, “Is this Janina’s way of ridding herself the guilt? And please, one-night stands are for the easy ones.”

This got me thinking “What is the type?” What does it mean to be “the type to go on one-night stands?” And “easy ones?” Also “ridding herself of the guilt?” Guilty of what? Last time I checked casual sex wasn’t penalized under the Revised Penal Code. Nor is there a special law banning it. Maybe there is, but it seems like I didn’t get the memo. Someone send a copy my way immediately!

Immoral?

Does this mean that a woman who chooses to have casual sex is automatically easy, cheap, and the kind to jump on every other guy she sees? Are women who engage in casual sex automatically immoral, dirty women incapable of making intelligent decisions, doing good, and having meaningful relationships?

Physically, does this automatically mean that she’s the kind to wear a tight skirt, show off cleavage, and sky-high heels? Does this come with vampy hair and heavy make-up too? And let’s say yes, a girl does dress this way. Is it a bad thing? Is she immediately cheap because she chooses to dress provocatively?

Who issued a ban against body-con and strappy heels? (Do me a favor and send me a copy of whatever city ordinance or law there is banning that, so “easy women” like me can take our mini-skirts elsewhere.)

Slut-shaming

If a man engages in casual sex, he’s a stud, an alpha male, and someone on top of his A-game. If a woman does it, she’s damaged goods. This sexual double-standard, having a different set of rules for men and women when it comes to sexual activity, is what leads to slut-shaming.

Slut-shaming is when a woman is attacked for what is normatively seen as “unacceptable” or “unethical” sexual behavior for women who like casual sex or one-night stands. The term also applies when women are shamed for wearing revealing or provocative clothing. The use of the word “slut” isn’t what defines slut-shaming. Rather, it is implying that a woman who engages in sexual activity that traditional society disapproves of should feel guilty and inferior.

This kind of behavior and mentality is the reason why victim-blaming occurs in rape or sexual assault cases where the victims are said to be “asking for it” just because they choose to dress or act a certain way. Newsflash! But a woman’s short hemlines don’t nullify her right to refuse to have sex with you or reject your advances. As the famous saying goes, “Don’t tell women how to dress, tell men not to rape.”

What defines a woman

What people seem to forget is that sex is just one aspect of a woman’s life. It shouldn’t define who or what she is. What someone does between the sheets and with who shouldn’t be the standard we should measure a woman against as doing so is a form of discrimination.

A woman isn’t less valuable in society or incapable of doing good because of the choices she makes for herself sexually. 

It’s a misconception that these choices are for women who are dumb, shallow and insecure. She can be smart, strong and independent — probably smarter, stronger and more independent than you are. She can be in a tight dress in bars one night and in a killer suit in the boardroom the next day. 

Sex with a boyfriend, husband, fiancé or some guy she met in a bar, the choices a woman makes for herself sexually is none of anybody’s business because she is well within her rights to make these choices for herself. I mean, at the end of the day, what does someone’s sex life have to do with your life?

Your choices and opinions on what is deemed as sexually ethical behavior are yours. No one’s telling you to do something you don’t want to so who are you to shame and put down those whose opinions and choices are contrary to yours? What right of yours does someone’s active sex life violate?

Let’s reserve this hatred and negativity for those who steal from the public coffers to fund their lavish lifestyles and corrupt public officials. There are worse things in life than a woman choosing to get some action if and when she wants it. – Rappler.com

READ: Ever tried speed dating? I have

 

Janina Suarez proudly wears the “S,” which can stand for either “sexy” or “superwoman.” Those who say “slut” should also wear an “S” for “slut-shamer.”