Is ‘fag’ fit to print?

“A woman who married a fag” was the original title of the column Mon Tulfo wrote before netizen reactions prompted the publication to change “fag” to “gay man.” Yet several instances of the word still remained in the article, while other misnomers like “man-woman” and “closet queen” still described an allegedly gay husband who happened to err against the writer’s godchild.

(Editors’ Note: The Inquirer has since edited the words and phrases that were the subject of this column.)

If I didn’t see the date on it, I’d think it was published in the fifties by an ultra-conservative right-wing publication. It simply didn’t belong in the Inquirer, which has been known to be more sophisticated, more socially progressive, and more gender sensitive than to allow the use of such language.

Recall that last year Pol Medina was let go from the newspaper because of the reactions against a comic strip that pointed out the known irony in how exclusive Catholic schools seem to be factories for lesbians. St. Scholastica’s College reacted by way of a letter threatening to file a lawsuit. They had to. There had to be some action otherwise they would admit that they “condone” homosexuality in their school (my alma mater, yes – insert your conclusion here).

Pugad Baboy was suspended and the issue died down eventually, the nuns had their way and parents were appeased. Pol gave his apology, left his comic strip’s home of 25 years, and was hired swiftly by Rappler where Pugad now makes its home.

Nobody apologized to lesbians for the implication that they are something to be avoided, condoned, or corrected, and that somehow the visibility of lesbians in exclusive girls’ schools was a negative. 

But that’s okay. The LGBTQ community has long been the whipping boy of media and general society anyway. Other broadsheets have published “expert” advice from a psychologist who said that parents should tell boys that playing with gender non-conforming toys is wrong and makes one gay. Even the Philippine Obstetrics and Gynecologists Society once proclaimed that “lesbians are not women” and therefore don’t need reproductive healthcare.

Never mind Tulfo too, whose default argument for anything seems to be that the subject is gay, or that he and his brothers are not homos, if he does not resort to his default intelligent responses “Gago!” and “Tanga!” So classy. Never mind that his shamed mestiza inaanak has been named in a major newspaper and called physically endowed by her own Ninong. By the column’s logic this beauty must somehow result in perfect marital relations.

Many women are fooled by men, and relatively rarely by gay men. Most of the culprits are heterosexual philanderers, liars, and abusers. But not all women have a ninong in Mon Tulfo who is able to call the father of her child a fag, a man-woman, or closet queen in a national daily for posterity. 

What’s in “fag” or “faggot” anyway, other than being a derogatory word used against gay men the way the N-word is used for African Americans? 

Since it is an English word, its sting isn’t as strong to Filipinos, most of whom might just equate it to the word “bakla.” Think of it as the same as calling a woman who is pregnant out of wedlock (like Tulfo’s ahijada once was) a disgrasyada or a dalagang butas. That is the difference between simple terms and derogatory words, and sometimes a vernacular equivalent is necessary for us to feel a word’s punch. I would never call a woman any of those words, and even if my opinions are my own, this publication would never let those words (when used against another person, named or otherwise) see print either.

Calling a gay man a faggot is like calling Aetas “nognog,” like calling Tagbanuas “mangmang,” like calling Indians “bumbay” or “five-six.” It is offensive and reflects the speaker’s lack of class, manners, worldliness, and sensitivity.
Calling a gay man a “man-woman” or a lesbian a “rug-muncher” is like calling a child with Down’s Syndrome “kulang-kulang” – something most of us would never even imagine saying.

Derogatory words stem from hurtful stereotypes and have no place in modern civilized language. They only find their way into the speech of savages, in intentionally hurtful statements whose only objective is to offend and ruffle feathers. Think Ann Coulter. Think Rush Limbaugh. Think Mon Tulfo.

Fortunately for us the world is changing, and it is turning fast. Anyone born in the last four decades quickly learns what is socially-conscious and respectful speech and writing, and what is not. Anyone in the modern world knows that Filipinos swim in social media and either gather their impressions from intelligent, civilized discourse – or get lost in the noise and echo it.

Even a teenager knows what hate speech is, and that misogynist, homophobic writing has become the shameful (and often laughable) exception and not the rule. Who even speaks that way anymore, but that embarrassing uncle in our family gatherings who gets too drunk and cops a feel of his own nieces?

Any publication set to survive must not live in fear of editing obsolete writing that is steeped in hate and bigotry.

Coming from someone who belongs to a minority, wanting to correct the use of hurtful words risks my being labeled as overly sensitive or pikon. It always seems that way when it’s not your minority that’s being spoken of, doesn’t it? Remember that Filipinos are more than quick to jump on even blatantly satirical mentions of our country as a nation of servants. There is a difference between hate speech, humor and satire, and I hope you know what sets them apart.

Fair and honest discourse devoid of insults and name-calling isn’t tiptoeing. It isn’t coddling sensitive people, nor is it an extreme effort at political correctness, nor is it aiming to please. It’s just how civilized people talk these days.

But then there’s always the language of the ignorant past, one that sets to divide and one-up one another, where one presents herself as better at the expense of someone who is less white, less wealthy, or less of a “man.” We always have a choice in the way we conduct ourselves, and I hope the choice you make every day is the right one. 

Don’t say (or allow people to say) “fag” unless you’re also the type to call an autistic child “kulang-kulang.” You’re better than that. – Rappler.com 

Shakira Andrea Sison is a Palanca Award-winning essayist. She currently works in finance and spends her non-working hours being respectful in subway trains. She is a veterinarian by education and was managing a retail corporation in Manila before relocating to New York in 2002. Her column appears on Thursdays. Follow her on Twitter: @shakirasison and on Facebook.com/sisonshakira.