OFW survival guide

You just received your contract and are about to start your much-awaited OFW life. Or maybe you’ve been away for a few years and have had a taste of being the expatriated breadwinner of your family.

Wherever you are – the US, Middle East, Europe, or Asia – your story is different but its thread is the same as those who’ve gone before you. You’ve uprooted yourself and planted yourself elsewhere, plowing other fields, pumping someone else’s oil, or loving someone else’s children – all for a chance at a better life for your family.

Displacing yourself will be one of the hardest things you will do in life, and there isn’t really a way to prepare for it. But there are some ways to make the struggles feel worthwhile, and the pain a bit more purposeful.

1. Have a plan 

If you are at your country of designation temporarily, decide how many years you are planning to be away and how much money you plan on saving up. Let your family know about your plans so they don’t expect your contract to be open-ended. Make sure your family is aware that they will not have OFW income for the rest of their lives. 

If you plan on having your family join you, move towards that goal and prepare for their arrival by studying immigration laws, and by building a home for them where you are.

Being an OFW should mean the end of “Bahala na.” Take charge of your present and your future now that you have the means. Have a plan.

2. Establish a schedule

Just like in all long-distance relationships, lack of a plan leads to resentment and unmet expectations. Treat communication schedules as written in stone and be present for set times to talk on the phone or on video chat. No matter how repetitive and boring it feels after a long day, have conversations with your children. Being physically absent doesn’t mean you have to be emotionally unavailable as well. That video chat is all your children have of you while you are away. Be there for them because lost time cannot be replaced. 

Resolve to visit (or be visited by) family every year or every other year, and be firm with those dates. Because of geographic constraints, your family is unable to stand by your coming home every night. Let them stand by your homecoming once every year or two.

3. Create a budget

The sudden influx of cash does not mean everyone gets to be on a spending free-for-all. Make your household budget similar to your previous one, making allowances only to save a bigger chunk of your salary, or to improve your children’s educational prospects.

Do not leave the budgeting solely to those left back home. God knows we’ve heard so many stories of OFWs working hard for years and years, only to discover that relatives have siphoned off every opportunity for them to come home to the proverbial “better life.” Check long-term balances frequently. Have access to bank accounts. Ask for progress reports and detailed photos of that house you’re building. Talk to the contractor of your house construction. Do not leave your dreams in someone else’s hands.

Have a stake in your finances and be involved in your long-term vision instead of handing it to someone who has no idea how much you’ve worked for every dollar, dinar, or euro. You deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labor, too. Make your sacrifices worth it by making sure the money is put to good use.

4. Do not get your family used to luxuries

If you were not wealthy before your OFW job, you didn’t suddenly become rich because of it. If your children could not have gadgets then, they cannot have gadgets now, even if you have the money for it. Before you think of buying presents, make sure you have fulfilled their basic needs, followed by school expenses and savings. Only then can you consider buying small, inexpensive presents. Otherwise, you simply cannot afford it, and there is no shame in that. But there is shame in running out of money because you lived beyond your means.

Do not allow your children to develop the habit of constantly asking for non-essential items. Instead, teach them the value of saving for something they want. If you want to help them out in buying a coveted item, let them know that they need to save up half of the amount and you’ll save up for the rest as well, to let them know that you need to save up for special items, too.

It is disrespectful of your struggles and hard work to be asked for luxuries when you sacrifice daily just for their basic needs. Knowing there is always some luxury your family is waiting for makes one feel inadequate and unable to focus on more important objectives.

5. Pay your debts

Rarely is anyone able to pursue their dream of an OFW life without the help of loans. Before you spend on yourself and take requests for presents, create a plan to pay off all your debts. It is the right thing to do and shows your good intentions to the person who helped you out. Not paying one’s debts in a timely fashion or on unclear terms makes both parties feel you are indebted for life.

Paying off debts builds trust and solidifies financial relationships, and puts your family back home in good standing with your lenders. Make it a priority.

6. Take care of yourself

You are the breadwinner. Your family’s success depends on your physical and mental well-being. Spend on healthy food and activities. Treat yourself to a small vacation or something you’ve always wanted. Quit your vices. Without your health and sanity you will not be able to help your family at all, so make sure your needs are met first.

Know your physical boundaries. Do not work through sickness. Know when to rest and take a break. Learn to refuse work that will impact your health. OFWs are experts at forgetting themselves, forgetting too that loss of their well-being means the loss of livelihood for all who depend on them. Remember that you will one day return to your family who will need you to be healthy and in good spirits. 

7. Study the technicalities

Always be up to date on immigration practices, rules and laws that apply to you. Don’t just rely on your agency or recruiter to tell you what to do. Do some research in the possibility of you and your family to settle in that foreign land (if that’s part of your plan).

Study your company handbook and be aware of developing regulations. Watch out for yourself and always know your rights. Do not be the clueless foreigner that people take advantage of. Be informed.

8. Establish an endpoint

Know when you’ve had enough. Make your family aware that the OFW life is not forever, and the reason you are doing this is so your children don’t have to. Ingrain in your children that they are getting a better education so that when you come home, it will be their turn to help the family, and hopefully, not have to leave the country to do so.

Give your family a finite number of years that you plan to be abroad. When it comes time for you to go home, do not be persuaded to stay or take on another job just for more money. If you planned it well and managed your money wisely, you should have a decent amount with which to retire or start your own business back home. Take control of your own life and don’t let others make decisions for you. Only you know that sacrifices you’ve had to make and the hardships you endure in another land. Know when you’re done and make the most of your remaining time back home.

Good luck! – Rappler.com

Shakira Andrea Sison is a Palanca Award-winning essayist. She currently works in finance and spends her non-working hours eavesdropping on OFWs in subway trains. She is a veterinarian by education and was managing a retail corporation in Manila before relocating to New York in 2002. Her column appears on Thursdays. Follow her on Twitter: @shakirasison and on Facebook.com/sisonshakira.