Conquer anger, help stop domestic abuse
Domestic abuse is a fire that destroys families.
Repeated abuse is usually ignited by a deep and unresolved sense of anger and hatred.
Do not let anger control you, conquer it instead. When you banish excessive anger, you could help stop cyclical domestic abuse.
Awareness of anger
Domestic abuse can be economical, emotional, verbal, physical and mental.
Deep-rooted anger and irritability can come from various areas in life: childhood and adolescence, environment, unmet needs, stress, vices, side effects of medication or sickness, frustration, envy, selfishness, pride, insecurities, and also bad peers.
The family, however, may be one of its biggest factors.
Anger usually hides the abuser's fears and insecurities. The more immense the anger is, the bigger the roots of his or her pain.
Before becoming an abuser, he or she could have been abused too. The abuser may have experienced or witnessed domestic abuse while growing up. As an adult, his bottled up anger may erupt, pushing him to lash out on his own family. This person may use anger and violence as a power to control.
Anger can damage work relationships, friendships, families, and one's self. It can create a cycle of anger passed on from you to your children, to your children's children, and so on.
It can cause anxiety, high blood pressure, heart disease, chest pains, back pains, and lowered immune system. Excessive rage can also lead to depression, aggression, violence and crime.
How can we manage our anger better? Here are some simple tips:
- Understand what triggers your anger
- Release stress or anger by exercising: Go out for a walk, jog, swim, work out, play sports, or dance
- Discover your artistic side: Draw, listen or make music, or write
- Talk about your feelings with someone you trust. This is better than keeping all your emotions bottled up.
- Distract yourself by finding new hobbies: do some volunteer work, read uplifting stories, watch films, clean the house, travel, or take a vacation
- Add some sense of humor in your life
- Attend anger management therapy
- Get some physiotherapy massage, it can help ease chest and back pains caused by tension and anger
Healing may also come faster if we learn to accept the situation causing our anger. Next, we should learn to forgive ourselves, as well as to stop blaming others for our anger.
Find solutions instead.
Avoid vices like drugs and alcohol, these can only drain your health and financial resources, which could then worsen our anger.
Let go of hurt, guilt, fear, and regrets. How? Try yoga, save some time for self-reflections or prayers. See what works for you. Have a healthy and balanced meal, eat foods rich in "anti-anger nutrient" like omega-3 fatty acids, protein, and B-complex vitamins. And of course, be sure to get enough sleep.
When confronted by an angry person, try to stay calm.
Protect yourself from physical harm, and understand where the person's anger is coming from. When the angry person calms down, start a dialogue with them.
Reflect and help the enraged person manage his anger. In a family with a lot of anger issues, it is best to counter anger not with anger, but with words and actions showing love and respect.
If you cannot control or eliminate anger, everyone near that anger can be engulfed. You are not only hurting the target of your anger, but are also lessening their self-esteem.
Lessons on anger management and vigilance against domestic violence should also be taught at school.
Eliminating anger is an efficient way of cutting off one of the toxic roots leading to domestic abuse. Learning to conquer and heal anger could lead to healthier, safer and more harmonious relationships. – Rappler.com
Ana Angelica Abaya van Doorn is a Swiss-Filipino writer. She is also an Italian-English translator and a Romance Writers of America novelist.
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