To my dear future Azkal

Therese Endriga Wigforss

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You will be the third culture – a “hy-breed” that will combine the best of what your father and I have

THERESE ENDRIGA WIGFORSSWhen I can finally have you, the Swedish government will owe your dad and myself about a year in maternity/paternity leave. Growing up, you will have access to free libraries and museums. You will ride there along roads free from potholes, using clean trains and buses that come when they say they will, and not just around election time.

If we have a family member with special needs, the Swedish government will recognize the sacrifice of our working hours and will pay us to care for them.

If things continue to run as they do, these taxes will continue supporting health care; benefits for children, students, unemployed people, and the ill. This also includes proper water systems and waste management, including protection for the environment (such as after an oil spill). These are paid for by the 30% of all Swedish salaries.

These are taxes at work. And this is what your other country, the Philippines, needs very badly.

Compare the way both countries handle corruption. 2013 blew the lid off the Napoles pork barrel scandal, where a businesswoman was reportedly found to have been squirreling away millions of Philippine taxpayers’ money on behalf of our politicians. The closest Sweden has come to that is “The Toblerone Affair,” where a politician voluntarily resigned because she was caught charging two chocolate bars (and later, 50,000 SEK) to her working expenses.

So many Filipinos have been at the mercy of others who feel that they must screw over or be screwed. It’s what forces an incalculable number of kababayans uproot their lives and endure years of loneliness, seeing their kids grow through Skype.

You can understand why I look around at all this sleek Scandinavian blonde wood design and feel sad –­ bitter, even. If only my country’s taxes worked for them too. It makes me think of everyone back home, because happiness is as much about the people who surround you as the conditions you’re in.

HAPPY COUPLE. Therese and Axel got married early this year. Photo contributed by Therese Wigforss

Relearning Filipino

It’s lonely here, kiddo. I’m not going to lie to you about that. Apart from two dear friends I’ve made here apart from your dad, I spend a lot of time learning Swedish with a group of adults who are resentful that they’ve gone from being a somebody in their homeland to a nobody in this one. (And sure, sometimes that includes me.)

I’ve had to relearn so much of what I thought I knew like the back of my hand (even chocolate chip cookies). This famously sunny Filipino nature we have, the one that offers others food as a gesture of friendship – even THAT is occasionally viewed with suspicion (“No! I didn’t poison it! But now I wish I had!”).

My English proficiency just makes people think I’m American.

Even your fellow Filipinos in a country can make you feel lonely. Shared language does not spell a shared wavelength. Some cling like the proverbial crabs to each other. They refuse to learn the ways of their new land; mocking you when you speak proper English, or eat salads instead of rice.

There are those who dismiss the current state of affairs in the Philippines as pathetic (kulang na lang sabihin “Bakit ganyan pa rin kayo? Buti na lang wala na ako diyan.”) Pero sige. Tandaan na lang natin na kahit saan, may bwisit; pero may mabait din. (It’s as if they are saying, “why are you still like that. It’s a good thing I left.” But that’s fine. Let’s just remember that no matter where you are, there are jerks and there are also nice people.)

You’re lucky, not entitled

Please, anak. Don’t be like that. You are not better because you live in a first-world country. You are just lucky. You may enjoy the perks and benefits of this country, but you have another country that is just as much as part of you as this one.

Because you are the Great Half-White Hope, kid. You’re the main thought that makes me brave each blustery day.

Half of you will be the product of what the UN this year says is the fifth happiest country in the world. And half of you will embody the most truthful ad campaign I know, which says “it’s more fun in the Philippines.” May you will be equally proud of both halves.

You will be the third culture – a “hy-breed” that will combine the best of what your father and I have. Make others happy, like Filipinos do; but also, learn to do things with optimum efficiency and that no-nonsense Scandinavian attitude. Know that “there is a God, and you are not it”. (Always keep a tabo in the bathroom.)

You will have three languages with which to communicate with others – use them all proudly and help others who need translation. You have no idea how comforting that can be to a confused and lonely immigrant.

And while, in my biased opinion, you will be beautiful, do not use your (hopefully) long legs and your sharp nose to merely become an artista, anak. Beauty only works when you’re young – after that you better know something. (Like maybe playing football.)

You will have many gifts from both sides of your family. Use them to affect real change, wherever you may, for those who need it most.

Don’t merely believe in your government, but draw upon your very Filipino ability to fend for yourself no matter what may come. Charles Darwin says, “It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.”

I’m doing my best here to do just that, kiddo. I entreat you to do the same. Bring the blessings back.

 

Love,

 

Mom


– Rappler.com

 

Therese Endriga Wigforss lives in Sweden with her husband, Axel. She hopes to have her own hybrid football team one day. 

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