Two-timing, slut-shaming

No, first of all, I do not care what happens to the over-hyped, over-the-top, over-acting Vhong Navarro-Deniece Cornejo-Cedric Lee case. (Read: Cornejo to Navarro: Fear hell, be a man.)

But then, I do care about what’s happening to the people who are passionately following this seemingly important news. We just can’t escape it – in the morning news, on our way to school or work, inside the classroom, in the office pantry, during our yosi break, and on social media – it’s everywhere.

Everyone seems to know every detail, watched every video, read every clipping. And inevitably, we have taken sides.

Root cause

Yet, it breaks my heart that most of us are overseeing the root of all this brouhaha. That is, unfaithfulness – not being contented, not being loyal.

We all know that both parties are already taken, already in a relationship. It saddens me that we end up siding with Navarro, and start bashing Cornejo, as if the former didn’t do anything wrong at all.

Blame society, blame the macho patriarchal belief of the Filipinos. It is as if womanizing is okay because, as the common excuse goes, “lalake lang yan, natutukso” (He’s just a guy. He got tempted) or “kung babae na ang lumalapit, sino ka para tumanggi” (If a girl comes to you, why would you reject?).

Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but remember, it takes two to tango.

Women with low necklines and short skirts aren’t invitations for others to show disrespect. We dress for ourselves, just so you know, and not for others.

On the flipside, having two boobs or two balls doesn’t give us the right to juggle two hearts – whether for playtime or not.

Again, it takes two to tango. They played with fire, they gave in to temptation, they two-timed. Grabbed more than what they should have. Flirtationship, fling, FuBu, whatever they call it, they should never have started it in the first place.

Bigger issues

Now, here we are, all “aww-ing” how badly Navarro was hurt. But have we ever thought that the physical injuries he is suffering are nothing compared to the emotional pain that his girlfriend of 5 years is experiencing?

And here we are, calling Cornejo names, making memes, mocking her for being so seductive, so sexy, for being not satisfied with just one man. Here we are, cursing her whole being for supposedly being an accessory to a supposed crime. Here we are judging her for not being the Maria Clara we Pinoys envision every woman must be.

Navarro and Cornejo two-timed, and here we are, slut-shaming the woman. Whether guilty or not, nobody deserves the bullying that she is experiencing now. One mistake now stained her whole being. I am not siding with Cornejo, but I believe it is not fair that she gets the bad rap on this one as if the man didn’t do anything shameful at all.

In the end, the victims here are us – our perception, our views. We tolerate unfaithfulness just because it is masked with bruises and blush-on. We tolerate bullying just because everyone seems to be doing it. It is so heartbreaking how we are desensitized by us being two-timers, us being slut-shamers. How we overlook the cause just because the effect is such hot copy, like a fat cow waiting to be milked.

Indeed, it is better to be safe than sorry. But since we are already in the “sorry” stage, I believe it is best for us to stop putting someone on the pedestal and the other in the dirt. I also believe that it’s time to stop the labeling and name-calling. Let the chips fall where they should. If any shaming should happen, well then, let’s condemn the act of infidelity. But hey, who are we to judge anyway? – Rappler.com

Khatrina Bonagua is a Copy Editor for CashCashPinoy.com and a Rappler Ambassador. She graduated AB Journalism, Batch 2012, from University of the East – Manila.

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