I am of the generation where handwritten letters were stuffed in film canisters and thrown into open dorm windows. They were passed around by friends and secret messengers, sent by courier or by mail, and were subject to weather disturbances, parental interception, or prying eyes. That wasn’t so long ago but it seems as though the art of love letter writing is dying, with e-mails, texts, and thousands of unoriginal memes and quotes being passed around as genuine sentiments.
Back in the day, we clutched letters in our desperate hands, read and re-read each line, and relied on words to calm us in between meetings and conversations. The paper felt good between our fingers, and the writing of our beloved showed errors, corrections, thought breaks, and their general state of sobriety or consciousness. In a world where lovers saw each other in scheduled (and sometimes secret) meetings, scribbled words were like buoys in a sea of long dark silences.
Now that screens and gadgets have rendered darkness nearly obsolete, and absolute silence between lovers might as well be a thing of the past, there hardly is a need to pour one’s heart out on a piece of paper when there is always video chat.
It is true that paper gets torn, wet, and lost, but handwritten love notes have always captured moments that are different each time one comes back for another read. They do not allow for any interruptions, so in essence a love letter is a pitcher of the writer’s pure emotion being poured on the person who reads it, and it stays that way no matter if it is thrown out, torn up, or thrown into a fire.
At the very least, a love letter cannot be copied and pasted that quickly for an old lover to fool a new one, and handwritten letters tend to be more thought out and creative (if only to be worth the paper they’re on).
The basic love letter
Never underestimate the power of an old-fashioned love letter. It can be more disarming than a look, a smile or a shared moment sometimes, and is often the only tangible thing left after a love story ends.
Here’s a guide to writing a standard love letter from someone who has admittedly written too many of them. Woo someone today and learn the craft!
1) Begin with a salutation. This dictates the tone of the letter and the writer’s perception of his or her relationship with the reader.
Some examples:
Dear (name),
Dearest,
To my lovely wife,
Dear sexy husband,
To you, girl behind the cappuccino maker at my favorite coffee shop who writes my name on the cup even before I reach the counter
2) Start with the beginning, because there always is one, and it reminds the recipient that you were paying attention and that moment was as pivotal for you as it was to them (and if it wasn’t, this is your chance for you to make it so, at least in your collective memory).
When I first met you, you were wearing a fedora hat during a Manila typhoon. I saw you crossing the street with your hand holding down the feather in your hat, and I thought, “There’s nobody else like her.”
You were a (generous description of your beloved) and I was a (humble, self-effacing description of yourself).
3) Describe your situation now, showing appreciation for everyday details and the seemingly irrelevant aspects of your relationship.
But now that we have lived our lives as a married couple, I cannot be more grateful for what we have and how we have grown with each other…
4) Mention something in you that has changed because of the recipient.
You have taught me that being a husband and a father are the most rewarding things in my life. You have made me both, and for that I will always be grateful.
5) Express a commitment to continue the love story, or your undying longing for the reader.
They say I should be tired of you by now, or that 5 years after a wedding, a couple’s happiness begins to decrease. Yet I still wake next to you with the same eagerness I had when I realized that you would always be mine.
6) Describe the state of misery you’ll be in without her or him.
Should you ever change your mind about us and lose your way, know that I will be one of those pathetic people who never seem to move on.
7) Closing line must leave a little bit hanging and make the reader want more of you.
Always be mine. I love you, and I can’t wait to show you exactly how I do.
An example
Bringing all the above together, here is an example of a love letter to a fictional person:
Dear girl reading the Nabokov seated on the third bench of the grassy area outside the library with one of your shoes’ laces untied,
Who are you? I saw you first on a Tuesday, reading the end of Lolita. But now it seems you have started it again from the cover, and I wonder whether this is your second or twenty-second time reading it, if its margins are filled with annotations you’ve written using the pencil tucked behind your ear. I would die for a peek of those pages and pray that book falls open in front of me one day.
Nobody uses pencils anymore, or reads books, especially not a young and wise-looking lady like you. P.S. I know you could have chosen contacts but instead you chose thick-rimmed glasses to hide behind, as if someone like me wouldn’t see you. But what do I know? I am fairly obsolete. I listen to songs only your parents would know, and speak favorably of messy, unnecessary love letters. Don’t mind me.
But mind this. We are stuck in this cycle of non-hellos and I am afraid that one day you will not be sitting there at 4 o’clock where I’ve imagined you’ve been waiting for me. Worse, the day might come when someone will be by your side, teasing you, grabbing that pencil and making their own notes in your book that I will then have to despise. And I don’t want to despise Lolita, as it is my favorite book.
Should I wait for you at your bench next Tuesday, or will you already be waiting for me?
Love,
Your presumptuous stalker
P.S. There is a fine line between creepiness and cheesiness and I hope I’ve succeeded in making you unsure where this falls under.
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Even if it doesn’t work in getting your beloved’s attention, rest assured that not many admirers would be able to compete. Everyone knows how to write a letter. Just add some love to make it hum.
Happy Valentine’s Day! (Safe sex please.) – Rappler.com
Shakira Andrea Sison is a Palanca Award-winning essayist. She currently works in finance and spends her non-working hours writing love letters in subway trains. She is a veterinarian by education and was managing a retail corporation in Manila before relocating to New York in 2002. Her column appears on Thursdays. Follow her on Twitter: @shakirasison and on Facebook.com/sisonshakira.
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