#SHEro: Monikers of motherhood

MANILA, Philippines – “Being a mother is a gift to the children. It’s not wrapped because it’s made open and generously given to all without limits even though they don’t share the same blood as you. It’s about loving all your children unconditionally,” said Mama Jane Escoto, one of the SOS mothers in SOS Children’s Village Iloilo, when asked about what an SOS mother means to her.

It was in 2012 when she took over Family House 3 after the resignation of her predecessor. Before acting as mother, she spent less than a year honing her child-rearing capabilities first as aunt.

“I entered SOS because I wanted to make a difference in the lives of children. So when I learned about an opportunity to do it, I didn’t have second thoughts about saying yes to the challenge,” explained Escoto.

Tita Jane

“So when I learned that FH3 will be assigned to me, although nervous, I accepted it whole heartedly because I know I will be able to better help children in honing their futures,” she said. “Admittedly, the idea of being an acting mother didn’t sink in immediately because my children were as big as I. I felt like we were just siblings.”

Due to the transition, children in FH3 were reluctant to call her Mama. She was content being addressed as Tita.

“Although they don’t call me Mama, I make sure that I make them feel that I’m really their mom. It’s not the term of endearment that counts, it’s the treatment that nurtures the mother-and-children relationship that matters,” she made clear.

“She’s definitely one of the coolest moms in the village. She’s both a friend and a mom to us. She can truly relate to our experiences because our ages are not far apart,” said Ailyn, one of her girls.

After two years of running FH3 as house mother, 3 new children were added to her SOS brood. “Upon knowing that there’ll be new children, I got excited and got tense, at the same time. I don’t know why,” she revealed.

Escoto narrated that when her children-to-be first visited the village, one of them asked upon seeing her, “Are you our mom?”

She felt a sudden jolt of enthusiasm and was moved by the child’s question. “Although they don’t know me yet, they already recognized me as their mother. And the feeling was ecstatic. It feels different to be called Mama,” she said.

Part of motherhood

Having young children now, Escoto admitted that her life as an SOS mother changed. “I need to put more focus on the young ones because they have more needs than the older ones. Of course, I still make sure that the needs of the rest of the children are attended to. I think I need superpowers. Rearing 13 children is no joke,” she quipped.

At dawn upon waking up, Escoto makes sure to ask for God’s guidance to face the day. “People say that being a mother is easy. I strongly disagree. Every child is a different person with varying behaviors and attitudes. So God’s guidance is integral,” said Escoto.

“I must admit that going off the deep end is inevitable. There are moments that I get enraged by my children’s irresponsible actions. That’s part of motherhood. Sometimes, I can’t stand the pain and cry. But I don’t let them see me in that state. I am pained not because I hate them for doing wrong things, I am hurt because I’m concerned for their future,” she said, her eyes brimming with tears.

To avoid such situations, Escoto makes sure she has time for everyone and that she knows their whereabouts.

Fulfillment

“One of the practices we do at home is making mealtime our ‘catching up time’. We stay for hours during dinner time because we talk a lot about each of their experiences during the day. I need to understand them better and vice versa to better guide them. Human touch is also important. I hug them and pat their backs when they do something good. In that way, they feel appreciated.”

“Nevertheless, my children are the source of my joy. When I learn that they do well in school, I can’t contain my happiness,” she said. When she can, Escoto takes time helping her children in doing their homework and school projects. “As long as my mental capacity can handle it, I help them answer their assignments,” said Escoto.

This year, Escoto is turning 34. And she has been serving SOS Children’s Village Iloilo for 4 years already. With a deep sense of fulfilment and inspiration her work as SOS mother gives her, Escoto looks forward to serving more children in the next phases of her life.

“I like being called Mama, and I want to take care of more children in the future whom I can call my own.” – Rappler.com