Goodbye ex-boyfriend, hello online dating

Breakups are the worst. For 3 years and 9 months, I struggled for true love.

The long-term relationship that ended was toxic. I lost myself along the way and for sure it damaged him too. I fought for the relationship because of how long it had lasted, not for how good it was. 

Good thing you and I broke up. You and I had to save ourselves from a hell that I don’t want to experience again.

No so-called “3-month rule,” no mourning period. There was no better time to move on than right after you and I gave the final closure. 

I have always believed that for every loss, there is someone new to be found. It was a choice to stay optimistic. I had to pick myself up, sort out the good pieces that were left, and open my world to meet new people. I needed a breath of fresh air and asked myself, when was the last time I did something for the first time? I then turned to dating apps.

It started with Tinder, then I downloaded Bumble after, tried Coffee Meets Bagel, and checked out OK Cupid. I juggled 4 dating apps at once.  

Tinder 

I learned how swiping left and right worked on Tinder, matched with people close to my location, chatted with a number of guys, and met someone. 

We matched on a Saturday morning, talked the whole day, then thought of meeting the night after. He’s a German-Filipino guy who was here in Manila for vacation. Setting the meet-up worked because he was only 3 kilometers away from my house.

He brought his cousin with him (trust issues and safety purposes, for sure) and we talked for hours at the bar until it closed. I felt he was shy yet interesting. We talked about politics, life abroad, and our interests. We said our goodbyes and at least promised we would meet again.

Nice try, though. Little did I know that telling white lies was his nature. Then the swiping went on.

Bumble

Thank you, little sister, for giving me good advice when it comes to flirting – above all else, ask for someone’s birthday. It’s all about the zodiac signs and warning signs. If the compatibility fails, walk out as soon as possible.

I was learning better as I swiped more. “Hey, when is your birthday?” “Why?” “Oh, I like asking people their birthday. It’s just that.” Then the guy gives his birthday. Is the compatibility level good? Or should I keep swiping? Here on Bumble and moving forward, I did this trick over and over. 

Bumble isn’t as big as Tinder yet here in the country. Guys are still tolerable here but after a few swipes past nearby people, guys from the provinces are then lined up. There’s also a BFF version in case I want to be friends with any gender and take a break from dating. But then again, I opted to focus on the dating side. 

When I match with someone on Bumble, I have to message the guy first in 24 hours. The match expires if the guy doesn’t reply 24 hours after my message. 

I matched with a radio DJ, a rugby player, a media partner, a guy who’s working in the same building as I do, and a few others who aren’t memorable enough to mention. 

I didn’t feel any connection with anyone on this app. Talks were casual, short, and boring. Then, friends recommended other dating apps for me to download.

Coffee Meets Bagel

This was the lamest.

I had to pick from a set of guys that CMB randomly chose for me, then I had to wait until noontime the following day to get a new set of guys. It was slow-paced, the guys weren’t my type, and the setup wasn’t for me. 

Less than a week after downloading this, I knew I was only wasting my time. 

OK Cupid

Finally, OKC was a blessing in disguise for me.

At one glance, each guy’s profile is pretty much complete and straightforward. It has their zodiac sign (which sets this apart from the other apps), self-summary (beware of reading long essays), compatibility percentage, and what they’re looking for (friends, hookup, or dating).

It didn’t take long for me to find my match. Three days after talking from OKC to Telegram, we met in person. Meeting this architect for the first time felt like we knew each other all along in another life. Since then, we were inseparable. 

We talked consistently every day, met a number of times every week, did new things together, and planned to do more moving forward, until it became official that we’re exclusively dating. There’s no need to rush because what’s important is that we know we’re in a state of bliss and beyond. 

Here we go again, feelings. I know it’s a risk but sometimes I have to take a leap of faith and trust that it’s going to be different this time.

I am thankful the worst things ended to give way for the best one. To meet someone who appreciates me effortlessly, makes me feel alive, and loves me to the point that I never have to beg again. 

He made me feel like I deserve to be happy after all these years. It is surreal to feel something I haven’t felt for so long. He made me realize I’ve been missing so much and that it’s never too late to live life without holding back.

We lose track of time when we’re together. He saved me when everything was a blur. Thank you for being around and for being you. 

Here’s to better days with you. We met each other at the right time. Whatever happens, I’m grateful I swiped right for you. – Rappler.com