‘Like’: Greatest love of all?

When I was growing up in the 70’s and 80”s, the teenage philosophical question that always popped up in barkada huddles and “slumbooks” (those actual notebooks with personal questions that you passed around to be answered by your friends) was the difference between “like” and “love”. It was a big thing then and especially among young girls, we pondered this with the intensity the way historians pondered the rise and fall of great powers. It was important, we thought, that we settle that difference, to be able to discern the deep nuances (we thought they existed) of boys’ intentions!

Back then, we generally concluded then that “like” was a frivolous feeling compared to “love.” “Like,” we then firmly declared, was fun but could not possibly define one’s day and much more, who we are. But alas, fast forward just two decades later and we find the all-powerful “like” which has come to signify social and political pulses, direct marketing strategies, the fame and fortune of content uploaders and yes, who we are, at least when you are a teenager.

A recent study on the brains of “liking” teenagers gave us a peek at how the teenage brain reacts to seeing the photograph they chose, “liked” by peers. The researchers showed teenagers (ages 13-18) some photographs, including the ones that the teenagers themselves gave them, with “likes” that have been arbitrarily pre-assigned by the researchers. This they did while the teeanage brains were hooked on brain scanning machines to see which parts were being activated as the teenagers see “likes” on the photos.

First, they found that the “jackpot hotspot” of the brain gets more activated when they see the photographs they submitted have more “likes.”  This means that seeing more “likes” on what they were responsible for makes them feel instantly rewarded and this is the same feeling and brain part activated when you give people money, chocolate or drugs. This jackpot hotspot is the nucleus accumbens which, in previous studies, have been shown to be more sensitive when we are teenagers.  In other words, teenagers are “trigger happy” when it comes to “rewards.”

With adults, this drive to feed off the rewarding feeling is generally tempered. This is in part obviously due to other things that adult life demands – such as time for other “less” or “non” rewarding but necessary tasks. In terms of brain connections, the adult brain is generally more connected to the “thinking” parts of the brain which checks on the impulses (like feelings of being rewarded) we feel. I would also like to think that adults have cultivated a wider range of things that are rewarding, beyond just a tick of the thumbs-up icon. But with teenagers, who are beginning to bodily and mentally awaken to a new world they are connecting to, it is important that they latch on to “social” rewards.  This is why “like” is a social currency among teenagers probably more than any other age group. It is their “toll card” to cross the boundaries of “self” to gain connections and acceptance.  “Like” seems to be the greatest love of all, as far as teenagers now are concerned.

The other important thing they found out is that teenagers are more likely to like something liked by their peers. This is not new as this confirms observations and common perception that peer-influence is a heavy weight in the way the teenager makes decisions. The surprising thing about this was that the teenagers were influenced by the likes of other teenagers even if those teenagers were complete strangers.

But are all teenagers influenced by peers to the same degree? It makes sense that there are differences in the way teenagers are influenced by their peers and maybe this has to do with how old these teenagers are. In other words, who influences which age of teenagers more?

Part of the answer is in a study that found that young adolescents (ages 12-14) are more influenced by their peers more than any other age group when it comes to looking at risks. They showed various risk scenarios and asked the participants how they would rate their “riskiness.” Then they were shown how other groups also rated them (these ratings were in fact just randomly generated or the participants own ratings but the subjects did not know that). Then they were asked to rate the scenarios again.

The study realized that the older participants were, the less were they influenced by their peer. In fact, it was only the younger teens who showed a significant dependence of the risk perception of other teenagers. This means that younger teenagers are more vulnerable to risk-taking without consideration of the tempered opinions of adults, than older teenagers. I am guessing that had the experiment used “like” as the symbol for how teenagers saw this risk, we would also most likely find that the number of “likes” of a risk from teenagers would have affected a young adolescent’s perception of that risk.

What do we do then if the way to a teenagers’ heart is generally through the “like” pipeline?  I have a significant portion of my professional and personal days devoted to interacting with teenagers and I can only offer an observation.

I find that we have a good shot if you try to expand that space in their minds as to the universe of things that they will find worthy of a “like.” I find that when you show them the “secret” sides of things – like little known facts and insights about anything and present it to them in an interesting way– they change their mind about what they don’t like and actually “like”. In time, it becomes their own personal enterprise – a way of living and looking at the world beyond just counting thumbs-up icons. “Like” as a social currency then becomes a pipeline to gain passions. And with passion, you welcome the alchemist that turns “like” to “love.”  – Rappler.com