RAW Deal: Monday night bloating

BALTIMORE—This might be the very first episode of RAW where I pretty much gave up in the middle of the show.

I had to return to it, of course, because that’s what good scribes do, but it could not be saved. There was a palpable sense of “why-the-hell-are-we-here” in the air, as though the Baltimore crowd already knew that the show wasn’t really worth their time. Historically, Baltimore has never been a good crowd to wrestle in front of, and their silence amplified the evening’s lack of energy.

But the crowd isn’t really to blame. How can you blame them when everything the WWE does on a non-PPV show just seems so… unnecessary?

Someone’s fatigued. It could be the wrestlers, it could be the writers, it could be Vince himself. It could very well be us, because we’ve been trudging through everything. But it is clear that the WWE has been operating in a fog of fatigue lately. SummerSlam seems to have sapped everyone’s energy, and try as they might—with Sting, with the Dudleys, with acts like Edge and Christian showing up—it just doesn’t seem to work that much. You get the initial rush, but even they fall into the murk with the rest of the crew.

I’ve been saying this so many times that I’m pretty much a broken record to anyone who takes the time to play me, but we need to go back to two hours. Cutting out one hour forces everything to matter, and puts the onus back on Thursday Night SmackDown to carry some of the narrative load again.

Long matches are nice, but having long matches—15-20 minute epics—on RAW makes PPVs seem like a Sunday night episode of RAW and make them unspecial on RAW itself. Cut out the fluff or ship some of it to Main Event and/or Superstars. The reason why NXT does so well in its current format, even in its previous tendencies of providing decent 10-15-minute matches, is because it’s forced to get everything out and advance in only an hour. When a TakeOver event rolls around, the big moment feel of big moments are preserved. Things feel like big deals because you only get a taste.

And when you’re already feeling bloated on full-course meals every week, why would you keep coming back?

High spots:

• The reason why a vocal minority of the fanbase roots for a certain wrestler’s domination is because sometimes, he’s one of a few guys who can set a show on fire when others can’t. Daniel Bryan was one of those heroes, and the WWE was forced to build around him in order to get through.
  
  Since Bryan is still being held back from competing, Cesaro has stepped up as a midcarder to watch. I feel like Cesaro’s upped his conditioning to the point that no one can keep up with him and he chooses to slow down for everyone else’s benefit—that’s what Bryan used to do, and that’s how he was able to electrify audiences week after week. I’m going to predict that Cesaro is going to be the Daniel Bryan of WrestleMania 32, if not 33. It’s bound to happen. 

• The only thing that managed to excite me about this episode is Kevin Owens angling for Ryback’s Intercontinental Championship.
• The New Day/Seth Rollins/Edge and Christian/Dudley Boyz segment was far and away the best thing to happen on the episode, but unfortunately it’s like the only good thing to talk about. 

Low blows:

• So what do we make of the Authority? Bad guys trying to run a legitimate corporation by forcing their bad guy scion to prove himself like a good guy? If you got confused by that, well, you’re not alone. Here’s the main problem with the Authority: I totally get why they feel the need to legitimize Rollins. It’s a basic requirement, whether your alignment is good or evil. But evil corporations are going to help their torchbearers earn their legitimacy by smart, shady dealings that deceive the public. In other words, Triple H has to be more Frank Underwood than Professor Dumbledore, because he’s supposed to be the bad guy. Otherwise, why still be overtly bad guys?
  
  Neutrality exists, but you don’t want to have the kind of neutrality that baffles your audience instead of impressing them. I was once curious about the possibility of someone in this story turning on the other, perhaps Rollins, but as we get dragged along in this farce, the less I believe that that’s actually going to happen. So I’m telling you, screaming it to the world: SOMEONE HAS TO TURN FACE, OR YOU STOP THIS MESS.
• On that note, because I look at things in a different light, I kind of feel sorry for Rollins after Sting destroyed his statue. I’m weird like that. 

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