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[OPINION] When Christmas is no longer merry

Jayeel Cornelio

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[OPINION] When Christmas is no longer merry
The story of Christmas must be read as a quiet, compassionate tale. It is a story for people for whom life is marked by its tragedies, loneliness, and rejection.

There is a reason why they say that Christmas is for children. The gifts, the reunions, and the long vacation make memories of Christmas happiest at childhood.

But something with adulthood transforms Christmas. A heartbreak, the loss of a loved one, or an illness that coincides with the season can suck the life out of it.

For those of us who have experienced a tragedy, no feast can bring back its joy. At best, Christmas is merely a moment of fleeting gladness.

In this light, Christmas has become an annual ritual of misery in which one is compelled to perform joy. Why not? Its bright lights have cast only shadows. The happiness of other people only deepens one’s loneliness.

They know that Christmas is no longer merry. And attending Christmas parties has become a burden.

Turning a blind eye

Christmas trumps every other season. That is true as far as our culture is concerned.

Easter, which is far more significant in the Christian annual cycle, does not even compare. We count down to the birth of Christ, but not to his death and resurrection.

That ours may be the longest Christmas season in the world is a testament to how much we value it. We anticipate it with gladness and even prolong it. I have at least two neighbors who don’t bother to bring down their decors at all.

In a way, the enduring charm of Christmas lies in its simplest joys: Misa de Gallo, puto bumbong, and Noche Buena.

But over the years, much fanfare has drowned out its simplicity. This has taken place in a surreptitious manner.

Every sale at the mall, every Christmas party, and every gift exchange all bring us together. The irony, however, is that they have all created an atmosphere in which the things of Christmas have overshadowed its relationships.

Consumption, festivities, and all the fanfare impress upon us that the busier it is, the merrier our Christmas is going to be.

The perpetual novelty of Christmas no longer lies in the charm of its simplicity. For it to endure as a season of anticipated joy, fanfare needs to be created – and recreated – with themed parties, expensive gifts, and bright lights in the city.

Christmas has thus become commodified in itself. It has become an object that must be imbued with economic value if it were to be consumed well.

We are bombarded with images that tell us that Christmas is a beautiful fantasy. And because we buy into it, we do not realize what it has become: a season for the demonstration of affluence and the performance of happiness.

To drive home my point, is it ever imaginable for a Christmas without gifts and parties?

The French sociologist Guy Debord once claimed that the more a person identifies with these consumerist images, “the less he understands his own life and his own desires”.

The fanfare is in fact merely a fantasy.

Thus the way we celebrate Christmas does not erase the tragedy of loneliness. Consciously or otherwise, it simply turns a blind eye to it. The performance of joy renders lonely people invisible.

Either they are not invited or they themselves have to perform joy.

A compassionate tale

Nobody wishes to be a party pooper. But we need to recognize that in the midst of joy, there are those who are trying to be happy.

These are the ones who lost a relative. These are parents whose children are no longer around. Some folks are sick and blaming themselves for it. Others are helplessly waiting for their relationships to end. Many others have simply been left behind.

It may be merry for many. But for some of us, Christmas has become a season of misery.

And so perhaps Christmas is not just for children.

Think about it: There is a reason why the angels proclaimed the birth of Christ to shepherds. For a change, it was not the privileged who got it first.

The story of Christmas, in other words, must be read as a quiet, compassionate tale. It is a story for people for whom life is marked by its tragedies, loneliness, and rejection.

Christmas is therefore for those for whom it evokes unmerry memories.

This season we need to recognize who they are in our midst.

Only then can we fulfill the promise of Christmas: peace on earth and goodwill to all. – Rappler.com

 

Jayeel S. Cornelio, PhD is a sociologist of religion at the Ateneo de Manila University. He is one of the country’s eight Oustanding Young Scientists in 2017. Starting January 2018, he will be a visiting professor at the Divinity School of Chung Chi College at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. Share with him your thoughts on Twitter @jayeel_cornelio

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