#UnsentLetters: An open note to my unfaithful father

Rappler.com

This is AI generated summarization, which may have errors. For context, always refer to the full article.

#UnsentLetters: An open note to my unfaithful father
'How could the hero of my life turn out to be the villain in the end?'

Unsent  Letters is a newsletter curated by Shakira Sison featuring unspoken sentiments gathered from reader submissions. It features unsent letters to real and imagined lovers. 

Hi Dad,

It’s me, your favorite daughter. No, this is not about my suitor you didn’t like. Let me begin by thanking you for being a good father: for sending me to a prestigious university beyond your means, for borrowing money just to feed us, for making sure we had clothes to put on, for providing our wants, and basically for bringing me into this world and raising me well. I grew up without mom, and because I believed she “left” us, I thought I owed you everything that I am now, except the fact that I am a result of a marriage that didn’t last, of love that wasn’t really there, of two individuals who have hurt each other as much as they hurt us.

I would like to thank you for everything—but I couldn’t. How could I thank you for building this family only to destroy it yourself? How could I thank you for the numerous times you gave in to your worldly desires only to hurt mom emotionally and physically in the end? How could I thank you for justifying your deed, saying your mistresses regularly gave you money that you used to feed us? How could I thank you for brainwashing me, making me believe that mom was the one who had extramarital affairs, that a woman having an affair is unforgivable while you are excused in mingling with a lot of girls? 

How could I thank you for still seeing other women long after mom left? How could I thank you for absentmindedly calling me “Carla” (the name of your child from another woman) when you told me that I’m your favorite daughter? How could I thank you for being so unfair to me and mom and making it seem otherwise? How could I thank you for choosing mom as your wife in sickness and in health, vowing that only death will part you, when you are easily tempted by sinful flesh? How could I thank you for bringing us into this world and making us suffer when you could have prevented it from the start?

Surely, I should thank you for putting food on the table, making sure we slept in comfortable bedrooms, ensuring a high degree of education, serving as a father figure we could look up to — an inspiration that served me well until I became a doctor. But now that I am in my third decade, I realize these things are not enough for any person to feel complete. After years of introspection, I now realize what is lacking in my being — a hole that has been there, waiting to be recognized. Yes I had everything, including a loving dad and a loving mom, but I didn’t have a dad who loved MY mom.

Dad, I could only imagine a simple life and a simple family, living a non-extravagant life. I would even trade my education for a happy family, if only that is possible. I don’t care how hard it will be for me to land a job, as long as I come home and see my parents, telling me it’s okay to be rejected ten times in a job interview, that I just have to keep trying. Dad, you don’t know how you broke mom’s soul into a million pieces when she learned about your affairs. How did she even deserve that after giving her whole self to you?

When I was kid, I always idolized you for being so good at everything: in life strategies, in replacing a flat tire, in sales talk, in time management, in business, and in everything. Sadly, your talents included hooking up with girls of all sorts. I have always prayed that one day you will wake up and realize that a demon has possessed your kind heart and that you will try to fight it — but you didn’t. And I grew hopeless. Now I just pray that I don’t end up with a man like you. And I thank you for that — for opening my eyes, that I should not fall for anyone easily, because not all good and kind men have a loyal heart that deserves mine.

Dad, we have always loved you even if you have wronged us. But how could we forgive you if you don’t even ask for it? Instead of changing your attitude you even boast about the number of girls you have slept with or bore a child with. How could you be so selfish and insensitive, not mindful of how your family will feel? How could the hero of my life turn out to be the villain in the end?

Ready to forgive,

Your daughter – Rappler.com

Do you have your own Unsent Letter? Send them to unsentletters@rappler.com. Selected letters will be anonymized and edited for clarity and brevity. By submitting to Unsent Letters, you represent that the work is your own and that you waive your rights to it for present and future publication. 

Add a comment

Sort by

There are no comments yet. Add your comment to start the conversation.

Summarize this article with AI

How does this make you feel?

Loading
Download the Rappler App!