#AskMargie: Being stalked

Dr. Margie Holmes shares your stories and experiences of being stalked

MANILA, Philippines – Last week on #AskMargie, Dr. Margie Holmes defined stalking incorporating her inputs with yours.

This week, in the second edition of a three-part series on stalking, Dr. Holmes shares your stories and experiences of being stalked. 


Script below: 

This week we’ll continue our discussion on stalking.
Today, we’ll focus on your stories and experiences of being stalked.

Jang Ramilo Cantiller says: You feel so angry and vulnerable at the same time!

Miradel Abellana: I was hurt and confused when my friend kept commenting negative things on my Facebook posts. I just learned last week that my ex boyfriend hacked her account to stalk me since I blocked him long ago. He admitted and apologized to my friend but never apologized to me. Nakakainis yun di ba?

Here’s a SCARY STORY SHARED by one viewer, Mei Magsino:
A stalker from the village where I used to live was really scary. He put his slippers in front of my main door and his clothes at the back of my apartment. It got worse when he told my neighbors he was my boyfriend. My neighbors didn’t believe him and they warned me about it. I didn’t mind it at first until I saw him in all the places I go to. That was when I decided to transfer to another apartment. But then I started seeing his underwear at the back of the new apartment. Last year, I saw a cigarette butt in the middle of my living room and a message saying he could easily enter my house anytime he wanted, using his masterkey.

I also asked: what do you do when you feel you’re being stalked? Here are your responses:

Mei Magsino above shares the rest of her story: It was my turn to investigate. I found out he was a loner and accused of molesting a 12 year old girl. I also found out he feared two of my friends. So I went to my friends, told them he’s stalking me. The next day he was gone. I don’t know what my friends did, but I’d rather let it be. I’m enjoying the peace I deserve.

@Jess_Bautista: Ignore them when you see them, as long as they stay a safe distance and make sure your social media pages are secured.

@exgangleader takes the opposite approach: Kausapin mo, malay mo maging friends kayo. Naging stalker tayo lahat one time, admit it!

@ItsAlvinPaul gives serious practical advice: Confront the stalker. If it’s creeping you out already, take legal actions. They tend to be obsessive.

Finally, Gracie Grace asks: What is the best way to ward off stalkers?

ANSWER/ADVICE: First, try and gauge the level of harm. Mei Magsino’s case was nakakatakot since apparently, he had a way of getting into her house. Then after gauging the level of danger, explore any effective way you can deal with it. Some stalkers vulnerable to parents’ opinions, maintaining a good reputation. Mei was lucky that the guy victimized others before and was thus vulnerable to threats (of disclosure?). In other words, speak softly, but carry a big steak…sana figuratively but sometimes, literally too (joke!) Like lady gaga, with Perez Hilton, we do not espouse violence (even if, like she, we may have planted the idea in your head at the start..—joke, joke, joke!!

– Rappler.com

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