MANILA, Philippines – Can long distance relationships really work?
In this week’s episode of #AskMargie, clinical psychologist Dr. Margie Holmes talks about geographically-challenged romances.
I got several interesting questions and comments from you.
Andrew Craig-Bennett comments: The Philippines is the long distance relationship capital of this planet, thanks to the totally mistaken, and immensely damaging policy of encouraging people to work abroad.
Very thought provoking, Andrew. IN fact, I think an issue that needs an entire #AskMargie episode devoted to it!
Many of you asked: What can I do to make my LDR last?
And most of you gave some really good advice on how to make it work, over 50% of which had to do with sex.
But let’s start with Paul Montinola who says: Keep it real and simple. When one has the time to communicate with the other online, let your heart and mind speak as if you are communicating face to face.
Sean Saba: Skype Sex.
Pol Sangalang: Develop a strong spiritual bond to compensate for the lack of opportunity for physical bonding.
We have an acute observation from Bert Quibuyen who says:
Bert Quibuyen: Making long distance relationships work is very tough, and it takes a lot of self-control, sacrifice, respect, love to make it last. As a volunteer mentor to new immigrants and temporary Filipino workers, I’ve witnessed many cases of broken long distance relationships due to infidelity from the women who are away from their spouses back home. However, I also know of some women who are able to make it work for up to 5 years until their husbands finally joined them here. I guess it’s all up to the person — some have strict moral convictions and self control and some easily succumb to temptations. Or perhaps (for the marriages with spouses who easily succumbed to temptation), there were already existing problems between them therefore cheating was bound to happen.
Alexandra Carmona has a different view: I think they do very well. It can be the close quarters everyday that can end the goodness!
Lovey Villacrusis: I’ve been there. My advice is stay in love, inspire each other, keep communications open, phone sex, at wag kayo papayag na di kayo magkikita. Gumawa kayo ng paraan para ma-close ang distance.
Rohan Pasco: I’m in a long distance relationship but we’re gonna celebrate it through Skype. Distance is nothing when you love someone.
G.D. Constantino: The way I see it, the only way for a long distance relationship to last is if neither of them have much need for sex.
One of the most optimistic and heartfelt response I got was from Andrew Craig Bennett who said:
Andrew Craig-Bennett: My long distance relationship will have lasted three years on Thursday. I don’t want to make it last; I want it to turn into a very short distance relationship!
– Good luck, Andrew. Like you, I too, hope your relationship turns into an SDR (short distance relationship).