#AskMargie: Female Cheaters

MANILA, Philippines – This week on #AskMargie, Dr. Margie Holmes continues the talk on the signs of a potential cheater?

After focusing on male cheaters last week, Dr. Holmes will now talk about signs of cheating by ladies. 

Last week we discussed what types of men are more likely to cheat on their partners. For this episode we’ll focus on the women.

An article from The Examiner listed at least 18 kinds of women susceptible to having an affair.

Some of these signs include having a lot of close male friends, having girlfriends who cheat on their partners, having an excessive need for attention, being a thrill seeker or risk taker, and being easily bored.

So what do our respondents think?

Diana Sayson says: Women I know who tried extramarital affairs were not in it for the sex. It is the adventure for most who found their married lives stale and stunting. Or emotional revenge towards a philandering husband. Or a cry for attention from a too ambitious partner. Or a stress release.

I find that a more successful woman with a less secure but appreciative husband is more likely to try to find satisfaction outside of marriage. Oftentimes, after an exhilarating month or two, the novelty wears off and the woman finds a more satisfying hobby.

Vanessa Zambale gives 3 reasons why some women cheat.

1. Women cheat when they see their partners as banes for their progress. They want a better, smarter man to share feelings or passions with. This is so they would feel adequate, competent, and self actualized.

2. They cheat because their partners bore them. If the partner can’t grow, they will definitely look for new adventures some place else.

3. Because they want to prove something, that they are still attractive (to) other people aside from their partner. They want to feel wanted.

Vanessa continues: The question for me is, why do these women stay? Why don’t they just look for another instead of being unfair and going through with all the betrayals and secrecy? Is it love? Convenience? Comfort zone?

DR. HOLMES: Just as it’s different strokes for different folks, it’s also different reasons for different seasons—a season of infidelity, the season for commitment to one’s partner, etc.

At least 2 of our viewers say there are no specific ‘types’ of women who are likely to cheat.

Maureen Jean Lara: I don’t think there is a type. It is just being in the right (or wrong) place, at the right (or wrong) time. We may all have the predisposition to cheat, it’s just that the situation, and our psychological and emotional state, were in sync, hence they cheated.

Anonymous says: I think there aren’t ‘types’ but ‘circumstances.’ Women who are sheltered, educated, and morally upright are as likely to cheat as their opposites given certain circumstances, specifically unfulfilled needs like emotional support, attention, sex.

I say this under the premise that cheating doesn’t need to include sex to be considered cheating. An emotional affair is still cheating, and in this world of texts, emails, and unlimited phone calls, emotional affairs are prevalent as they are fairly easy to carry on.

DR. HOLMES: Before, women only cheated because their husbands were mean to them. Research many years ago, in East Germany in fact, before the fall of the Iron Curtain, discovered that. A majority of women cheated if and only if they considered their marriage to be very very unhappy. It’s interesting to note that this doesn’t seem to matter as much in this day and age. Perhaps more current research on the reasons women is due. What say you?

That’s it for today. Do you agree? Disagree? Have you another point you wish to bring up? Can you suggest a factor we could’ve explored even further? Comment below so we know what you’re thinking and feeling ok?

– Rappler.com

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