SUMMARY
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MANILA, Philippines – We are wrapping up the betrayal series with a controversial question, “Would you confess to a betrayal you think might end your relationship?”
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Script below:
Today we continue –and end–our discussion on betrayal.
I asked: Would you confess to a betrayal you think might end your relationship?
Sonny Mendoza: What you don’t know won’t hurt you. Many mistakes can be corrected by not talking about it. To transform oneself needs no announcements.
Imee Garcia: Either way the truth will come out. When the partner finds out from someone, that would be opening the gates of hell. It is better to open the can of worms and face the consequences.
Alfie Mella: My honest and simple answer: If I betray a partner by having a sexual tryst with another woman, and confessing it will certainly mean she would never forgive me – then I will not confess. But I will make sure that it will never happen again.
Alfie adds: The tryst already happened. Now, you have two choices:
Alfie: ONE, if you confess, then you know that your partner will not forgive you and will break up her relationship with you.
TWO, if you keep it a secret, then your partner will never know it. The relationship continues without a fuss. Just don’t do it again.
Analyze the situation, list your realistic options, then choose wisely based on what would result in a more positive outcome.
Pee Hsee responds: That is from a man’s point of view. Pag inamin ng babae, not one man knows forgiveness. They may go on with the relationship, pero habang buhay na sumbat na yan.
To which Alfie responds: That’s a harsh generalization. You are claiming that when a woman engages in a tryst and she admits it, no single man could ever forgive her. I know a good number of male friends who were able to forgive their partners and move on together.
Alfie continues: I agree that men in general would find it more difficult to forgive an erring partner and that women are more inclined to forgive.
And, if I may add, korek kayong dalawa, PeeHsee and Alfie!! Generally speaking, men DO find it hard to forgive. In fact, research confirms that being an unfaithful wife leads to divorce far often than an being unfaithful husband does. But, as we all know when dealing with people, there are exceptions to the rule. Alfie, and I hope that they really forgive their sposes and not just Isayˆthey do,…as in making sumbat ng sumbat” to quote PeeHsee.
Robert Young Jr: It’s a big burden to keep a secret from your partner. If you want to confess and save the relationship, there’s a way. Confess to a priest and let the priest worry about it.
Tanya Garcia: Betrayal means more than you cheated on your partner. There must be something amiss in the relationship hence the cheating happened. Maybe it can be a good thing din na sabihin para mapag-usapan nyo ng partner mo what’s really happening sa relationship nyo, and re-evaluate if the commitment is worth saving. Cheating can also be a habit eventually, and I will have serious doubts sa pagkatao kung nakakayanan nyang itago yun.
Andrew Bennett: What’s the point of telling your partner? It won’t make him feel happy. Why not resolve to make it up to him by doing your best to make him happy? If you can’t be bothered to do that, then be honest with yourself – the relationship is already over.
Yomi Artemus: You already took the risk of betraying your partner’s trust. The risk of telling your partner is not that high compared to what you have done with him in keeping that betrayal.
Tanya Garcia says: You lie to yourself and you lie to everyone else, what’s so good about that? Hindi naman tayo mga animals na mas nangingibaw ang instinct. The act of cheating is a conscious decision. I find it rather disturbing that a cheater still wants to protect his/her relationship even after the act, maybe it’s not that important really if the cheating still happened?
In summary, allow me to quote Tonet Lipana says: This is a tough question. It could either break the relationship or make it stronger.
WRAP UP: That’s right, Tonet. And the absolutely amazing thing about it is, depending on the couple, confessing may make things stronger or weaker,…whereas for others, NOT confessing, NOT sharing, may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
How to decide what sort of couple you are? That sounds like another episode worth exploring, but not necessarily for next week.
– Rappler.com
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