#AskMargie: Student-teacher relationships

MANILA, Philippines – From May-December relationships, Dr. Margie Holmes jumps to a topic that may or may not involve a large age gap but is still considered quite controversial – Student-teacher relationships.

Watch:

I asked: Are student-teacher relationships ever acceptable? A lot of you are on the fence about this topic – with some saying it’s okay while others flat out say no.

Michael says: Why is this even a debate? Student + teacher: Always inappropriate. Adult + minor: Inappropriate (and illegal if sexual)

Roch Bandala: It’s okay as long as their academic integrity is not compromised and they’d maintain their professionalism.

Frederick Achaia Valdez: Code of Conduct as a professional….That is the only reason bakit bawal ang student-teacher relationship.

Miguel Jr Timuat: Depende sa eskwela, depende sa teacher, depende sa isa’t isa. Dahil kahit illegal pero kung mahal nyo ang isat isa, us against the world ika nga..

I also asked: If the student makes the first move, is it okay?

Joshua Rey: Still no. But once the student is no longer under the scholastic supervision or any influence due to the teacher’s position, then it is okay.

Rommel R. Fortes: As long as it will not affect their respective roles it should be acceptable. However, whenever they are in that situation, be cautious and decent. The reason why it’s said to be unethical or unacceptable is because of the actions they project in public.

Reinel Salvador: It could be justifiable when both remain discreet. We cannot fault human emotions. Let the student graduate then start off formally with the relationship if the teacher loves the student. This is for the benefit of the student to be spared from campus gossip and for the sake of the teacher as well.

Yrrah De Jesus: An existence of a vertical relationship is always a relationship that is prejudiced by its inherent nature. Lovers are typified by parallel relationship (i.e. The involved are equal). The presence of a former superior-subordinate by virtue of teacher-student is one that is not only frowned upon but inherently an issue of power. It does not matter who made the first move because the power relationship is unaffected regardless of who made the first move. By its inherent nature, it is flawed.

Jan Darrel Oliver: A teacher should always be professional. His/her personal whims should not interfere with his/her job. This involves a lot of issues not to mention moral, ethical, and legal questions.

Pauline Pulido: Hindi na lang ba kasi pwedeng magkaroon ng konting disiplina? Lahat na lang, basta love, eh walang restrictions?

Juanmiguel Santander: Teachers should establish a benchmark to their students to avoid gossips in the school and the community. They should set standards to avoid conflict of interest and favoritism.

Pauline Pulido: A big NO. Either transfer to another school or wait for your graduation day.

Brian Ong: Still no for me but if the student courts the teacher after being his/her student. It is fine with me.

Butch Syyap: The teacher should know better, so it will be up to the adult to make the better judgment or sacrifice. So, no.

Gabino Garcia: The issue here if it’s becoming more into pedophilia rather than student-teacher relationships.

Armida Torrejos: If with decency, why not? My cousin married her student (4th year high school) in the middle of the school year. He was 18 then and my cousin was 22. Of course there was chaos with the family and the people around them.

Finally, why don’t we hear straight from the horse’s mouth? Here’s what 2 perceptive and sensitive human beings share:

ASPIRANT86: I was his student and I disagree with everyone saying it’s immoral or unethical, This does not matter as long as we find comfort, peace, security and love with each other. People opposed to this will never understand. How will someone understand a portion of life they never experienced? I am not hurt with their accusations, I am saddened by their ignorance.

Aaron: I am a 27-year old high school teacher. I’ve had students who had a crush on me but I simply shrugged them off because of professionalism and ethical considerations.

Now, after five years, the students I once taught are about to graduate from college and some of them have really bloomed into attractive ladies. I am single and want to court a former student but I am worried of its detrimental effects on my profession. Should I still pursue her even though she is no longer my student?

Great question, Aaron, which we are answering tomorrow on Two Pronged in the lifestyle section of rappler.com

– Rappler.com