#AskMargie: Spending Valentine’s alone

 

MANILA, Philippines – Is Valentine’s Day just for couples? What if you’re alone? Are you supposed to just sulk and let the love birds have all the fun?

In this week’s episode of #AskMargie, clinical psychologist Dr. Margie Holmes talks about spending V-day without a significant other.

Watch:

Today we’ll talk about spending Valentine’s Day alone – whether you just got out of a relationship or have never had a relationship. In other words, what we here in the Phil: NBSB or an NGSB: No boyfriend since birth.

Many of you said Valentine’s Day is a cliché and vastly overrated. Others also said it’s not just for couples.

So I asked: how do you spend Feb 14 when you’re alone?

Pablo says: Group dates with other single friends will do. You don’t have to be pressured. You also have a choice to consider it as a regular day just like other people who don’t celebrate Christmas.

Kimi Lim: I celebrate it by taking advantage of the half price chocolate the next day.

Dr. Holmes: Wow, thanks, Kimi, excellent tip!

Desiree Sison: Maybe you could spend it in an orphanage and bring cheer to the children there by giving them gifts. The Valentine spirit might be even more alive within you than within those who have partners with whom to spend the occasion

@kiddocosio: Here’s a way to get people feeling better: remind them more than one month early that they will be alone!

Dr. Holmes: haha, @kiddocosio,tyat’s a joke, right? Or did you want to give them time to prepare?

Tara Orlanes: It doesn’t help to put pressure on those who are lonely. We should all recognize that Valentines Day is for chocolate companies, flower sellers, etc. who only want to make more money out of us. If you are in love or in a relationship, you don’t need Feb 14 to tell you that!

Many people echo Dan Bay’s sentiments: Grow up, people! It’s only a day, for crying out loud!

Leah says: One does not need someone else to be happy and complete. Before you can give love and security, these have to be present first in your own life first. You cannot give what you don’t have.

Harvey Aw: Peer pressure is your problem for not surviving Valentine’s Day. Treat it as a regular day and you won’t have any pressure.

I also asked what advice you can give someone who just broke up with his/her partner before Valentines and feels so bad about it.

Here are your answers.

Christian Francisco: It’s normal to feel irritated while everybody is celebrating the season. The ill feeling shall pass.

Cy Tan: Ask that person if he thinks spending Lover’s Day with someone whose love has faded is a good idea. Little Cupid was just buying him/her enough time to look for a better V date.

Victor Hall: Always recall the reason why you broke up in the first place. If the reason hasn’t changed, there is no point in going back and feeling regret. Anyway, I think Valentines day is too commercialized. We need to express our feelings of love every day.

Dr. Holmes: exceptionally good point, Victor and therapeutic too!

Jose Malvar: Valentine’s Day is a commercially made holiday. It was designed to make people spend. No self-reliant adult should factor in Valentine’s day in his or her decisions.

Finally, Carol asks: How come we don’t celebrate ‘singleness’ ?

Dr. Holmes: What most of you said: Pressure: card companies, chocolate . and perhaps even newspapers who charge for printing your greetings there. Not rappler.com though.

Also, I think many people equate being alone with loneliness. That’s just not true. Many people are lonely even in a crowd and others are as happy as pigs when alone!

– Rappler.com