#AskMargie: Managing bipolar disorder

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What requests or favors do you need from friends and family to help you manage your bipolar disorder?

MANILA, Philippines – This week on #AskMargie, clinical psychologist Dr. Margie Holmes continues to discuss bipolar disorder.

In this second of a three-part series on bipolar disorder, Dr. Holmes talks about how to communicate with your family and loved ones about the illness.

Last week we talked about bipolar disorder and what it’s like to have it.
I asked a question: If you were bipolar, what requests/favors do you want to ask your friends/family to make it easier for you to “come out” about being bipolar or to manage your illness?

Let’s start with some short, sweet and very practical ones:

Eloi Hernandez: I’d ask them to not take it personally. It’s not about them.

Pee Hsee: I’d ask them to stay away if I am having the moments and give me shopping money because I’m having the urge to let everything loose via retail therapy.

And a very practical suggestion from UP Prof Eric Julian Manalastas: Take a free online course like Yale’s Intro to Psychology and get up to speed on what having mood disorders is all about.

We have two answers that have to do w praying, but not in the way you expect

Wesley Vitan Making them stop forcing me to go to mass. It doesn’t help.

Angelina Sparks Kanapi I hate that, too. When I’m in church I just smell death and I crave mine.

And now, for some longer answers, which are just as helpful and, perhaps, more personal:

May Juliet Dizon says: It’s still very challenging for us to manage our intensities for now, and the world still can’t handle us, so we still have the negative label. But if society would focus on our gifts, I think people would be more accepting of us.

Jai Salangad Fernandez: If I had bipolar disorder and chose to take medicines, I’d ask to be treated as a person who is not strong enough to manage it on my own. The stigma of being called a ‘mental patient’ just because he chooses to take meds is one of the many ways one does not ‘come out’ or be open about discussing it.

Ella Kintanar: I’d ask them not to be embarrassed by me

Anonymous: I’ve been taking meds for 7 years now and I am highly functional, pero meron pa ring lapses. The sad part is, the people who are supposed to understand me, sila yung hirap mag-adjust. I have been encouraging them to attend a “support group” seminar, and wala kahit isang pumupunta. At 38, I finally got tired of trying to end my life, so now, as what the cliche says, I try to live my life to the fullest.

After all is said and done, many people with BPD feel that support from family and loved ones counts a lot—if not the most:

Rudy Yu: It’s easy to say meds, but I find the best is having a shoulder to lean on.

Angelina Sparks Kanapi: I’d ask them to remind me of who I am in their lives; remind me why they like me; what they love about me – why I’m important to them.

Uzziel Perez Having a good environment and being surrounded by people who love me are tremendously important.

Perhaps it’s best to end with Mark Rasing’s answer to the question “What is it you’d ask of your family and friends regarding your BPD?”

He says “None. As in no favor, no special treatment whatsoever. Awareness and acceptance must first come from within.”

– Rappler.com

 

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