MANILA, Philippines – What tickles your fancy?
In this week's episode of #AskMargie, clinical psychologist Dr. Margie Holmes talks about fetishes.
The 3 adjectives mostly closely associated with fetishes are: Strand, sexy and sometimes scary. Natch, because We don’t understand how someone gets turned on by something we don’t and what we don’t understand is oftentimes scary, And yet, what’s cary can sometimes be sexy. Just ask players who love to take their first dates to scary movies.
I asked: What do you think of fetishes?
Here’s what some of you said.
Wing Besilos: I find fetishes fascinating. It's interesting what makes other people tick. I don't have one, but live and let live.
Bert Quibuyen: A fetish is a very personal thing, and I respect that. Some fetishes are sexual, perhaps erotic, others are weird, creepy, but whatever they are, fine with me. Personally, I don't have any. No further comment.
Mark Anthony Cabrera wanted to know the same thing I did: What's the strangest fetish you've heard of so far?
Kristine Chan: Fetish that's just weird: furries!
MOI COMMENTS: for the “uninitiated, furries are people who get sexual pleasure from dressing up as animals and having sex with each other. Think they don’t exist? Check out online communities such Uncyclopedia. YouTube and Google have a few examples too.
Shiloh Kuku's Tita Di: Coprophilia, eeeeew!
MOI COMMENTS here’s a hint: coprophilia is also called scatophilia which involves sexual arousal and pleasure from feces.
Manny Balane: Sniffing smelly underwear.
MOI COMMENTS By that I presume you mean, used underwear? Although, Manny what is smelly to you is sexy, strongly scented, savory to others,--who knows, some celebrity might make a perfume with this as basis? But yes, so far—unless that celebrity perfume becomes a mass hit and everyone loves it (therefore, NOT so strange) wanting to smell used underwear is a fetish, something we CAN discuss in a future episode.
Eric Julian Manalastas says: No particular disgust but simply curious about heterosexual men who get turned on by the thought of cumming in a woman's long curly hair….
Cris Lopera: Outdoor sex
MOI COMMENTS: further proving that what a fetishist considers exciting, most consider strange,…much like the saying, one man’s terrorist is another’s freedom fighter.
Now, for your questions:
Nicasio Perez Lim Aquino: Is the Chinese Lotus foot a symbol of eroticism and seduction?
MOI: Yes, which shows one’s culture may have something to do with it.
Tanya M Garcia: Is it more common for men to have fetishes?
MOI: Yes. THE only fetish which a considerable number of women seem to enjoy is masochism (though there seems to be a lot of controversy regarding this).
When is a sexual fetish considered a mental disorder? Is a question many asked.
MOI: Thanks so much to everyone who did, thus giving me the opportunity to talk about paraphilias without seeming like I’m showing off
(INSERT EXPERT OPINION, CASES, WRAP UP) CNN’s Dr. SANJAY GUPTA
Paraphilia is defined as an intense desire towards particular atypical objects which usually is necessary before a person with a paraphilic disorder can be turned on. Paraphilias are considered mental disorders IF:
1. possibly harmful
2. great personal distress 2 oneself or 2 the one “coaxed” to take part in it
3. no real and truly mutual consent (no great disparity in age, status, experience and absolutely no grooming!)
For example, transvestic behavior
Ferdz de O: Is BDSM psychologically healthy?
Depends: on all the above but on more than that:
KEY GUIDELINE: Intensity. (Pantomime: playful slap and box on face)
Do fetishes have to be sexual?
In this day and age, yes. Admittedly, in the ancient past, fetishism meant something else--attributing divinity to an inanimate object.
WRAP UP : Perhaps the best guideline is an old joke: Difference between: erotic and fetishistic? feather and chicken…
PLUS,…but even with the chicken, what’s wrong with that, especially if the chicken not only isn’t hurt but gets himself a little too. Cock a doodle doo.
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