SAN FRANCISCO, USA – Kids drool in a candy store, some women swoon in a designer boutique, and certain men ogle fast cars – this sex and gender columnist’s fallopian tubes quiver in excitement whenever I visit a pharmacy or convenience store in the US.

As I walk through the doors of Duane Reade, CVS or Walgreen’s, I have to shush my lady parts. “Be still, my beating uterus,” I say as I feel it flip-flop as an irresistible pool lures me to the personal hygiene section.

Sandwiched between the shampoo and cosmetics aisle is a glistening treasure of condoms, spermicides, and lubricants – a birth control buffet that makes my vagina happy.

There are rows and rows of condoms in colorful packaging, in sizes that go up to XXL. It confirms what is hushed whispers and wicked conversations tempered by the coffee cup that is demurely brought to one’s lips. At last, a personal hygiene section that is smart enough to know that when it comes to anything that is worn on the body, size matters. 

The sensitive types with allergies to latex, which most condoms are made of, have their own section (usually found in the bigger branches) of lambskin condoms.

This birth control buffet takes your needs in consideration; condoms come in boxes of 12 and 24, giving you the option not to go back for seconds or thirds. None of the awkward, stilted conversations with a pharmacist when you tell her you would like to buy condoms which usually come in packs of 3. None of the volley of questions, “how many?” or “which one?” accompanied by a knowing look that is prickly enough to kill even the most headstrong of desires. 

If size or quantity, isn’t a consideration or a problem, there are ribbed, dotted and delayed action for those who appreciate that pleasure delayed does not equate to pleasure denied.

Lubed

Like the sauce that adds flavor to food or your favorite condiment, the personal lubricants are lined up next to the condoms. When used together, lube can give condoms a helping hand when going into tight spaces and also prevents condoms from tearing and breaking.

For older girls, there is are vaginal moisturizers for when, you know, like that shy but persistent lover, you begin to feel the first signs of menopause. 

Back up plan and other helpful aids

Spermicide comes in film, gel, cream or oh! suppositories that are best when used with a condom, cervical cap or diaphragm. 

And then finally, the last resort, the Morning After Pill. Until I had seen it up close, I thought it was an urban legend that girls from Europe and the US just made up.

The price tag of which was a reality check. Admittedly, it is a bit pricey (about $50) but you can never put a price tag on having a back up plan that you can pull out.

Thankfully, resourceful that we are, we have emergency contraception options available in the Philippines.

Back to reality

Like a love affair that is all too brief, my glee and giddiness plunge when I walk out the door. The infatuation turns to wistfulness and mild heartburn. 

Globalization and the forces of market demand make it possible to get the same latte with half-half or Big Mac anywhere in the world. But I still have to travel thousands of miles to partake of this birth control buffet. – Rappler.com