Cyberbullied by a scorned mistress: A wife fights back

I couldn't believe it – someone had just sent me an email saying I was a trashy bitch.

I ignored it; I didn't want to deal with it. It probably wasn't meant for me. But the next day, I received another email attacking my son. I felt sick to my stomach. Who was sending me these emails and why?

As much as I was trying hard to deny it, I had a strong feeling about the person behind the damaging emails. My husband had just ended an affair and he was back home. It could only be her.

I was right. The scorned mistress just couldn't move on. For about 4 years, she tormented me and my family with damaging emails, online posts, and even text messages. She would even send goons to our home to threaten us.

My husband couldn't deal with it. At the time, I was still heartbroken and grappling with the reality that our relationship had reached such a low point. I felt betrayed.

In the meantime, the scorned mistress was doing everything she could to get my husband back. For years, she attacked me online. For someone who had always been sure of herself, I really felt helpless and downright stupid. The scorned mistress had waged war and for some time, it seemed like she was winning it.

I was too scared. I didn't know what to do. The scorned mistress was incessantly threatening me. She knew where I worked. She knew the places I frequented. To make matters worse, she began sending malicious emails to my workplace.

It seemed like she had the power and my husband was simply allowing her to do whatever she wanted. To this day, I still cannot forget how lost my heartbroken husband was when he decided to leave her. He didn't know what to do – he was so scared of her. The whole situation was just ridiculously messy. If it were a movie, the characters in it would all seem pretty stupid, myself included.

The final straw

After 3 years of being bullied online, I finally got the nerve to do something about it. No more denials. No more hiding. No more feeling scared. The final straw came when the scorned mistress created a false account on Facebook.

She posted everything on the false account, scandalizing me and my whole family. Then she sent private messages to all my friends, family members, and even officemates. You just got to hand it to her – the scorned mistress really went out of her way to know everyone in my social network. She had everything planned out.

The scorned mistress went as far as posting publicly that my dear old husband couldn't bear to sleep with me. She tried to bait me with slander, hoping I would react.

I was hurting and even felt ashamed but I never gave her the pleasure of acknowledging her existence. I never replied to her emails nor did I ever react to her posts. My weapon was silence.

I kept a record of all her emails. With the help of almost everybody who received messages from the scorned mistress, I was able to collect evidence that could incriminate her. It turned out the mistress was not just scorned but was stupid as well for thinking that she could get away with cyberbullying.

Fighting back the right way

It’s true – there really is light at the end of the tunnel. I saw it when I finally got the nerve to fight back.

There was no way I was going to play her game. It was too low for me to get on social media platforms to let more people know about my husband’s wild romance. I had had it and I was going to fight back the right way: I hired a lawyer.

With the help of our lawyer, we were able to get Facebook to retrieve critical information on the fake account. Facebook was very helpful. We reported the abuse and almost immediately, Facebook sent us critical information like IP addresses and physical locations.

Thanks to Whois.com, we were able to track down the internet service provider of the scorned mistress. It turned out that she created the fake Facebook account right in the comfort of her workplace. Our lawyer had enough evidence to incriminate her.

Finally, in 2014, the scorned mistress was silenced. A Demand To Cease And Desist was sent to her. There was no way she could fight back.

I am sharing this experience to let everybody know that there is life after being cyberbullied. There are right ways to retaliate. If you are ever in doubt, consult a lawyer.

Keep in mind that cyberbullies make use of free online platforms. These platforms, in my personal experience, won't tolerate abuse, so don’t feel like you’ve lost the war. Truth be told, the cyberbullies are always on the losing end. – Rappler.com

Franchie Gomez is a housewife. She wrote this piece to help wives facing the same challenge, and to let them know that they can fight back without losing their dignity.