Since I was a child, I would often hear stories of LGBTQ+ kids being rejected by their parents. More often than not, it’s the father who can’t accept a child’s queerness, especially in the case of young gay boys. 

Our entertainment industry feeds on these kinds of narratives, turning them into tear-jerking episodes of drama anthologies. This, in turn, cements the idea as a rule rather than an exception.

This confused me, because my father never treated me this way.

I call my father “Papa.” While my mom worked abroad, Papa took care of everything at home. He was strict in managing our finances but made sure that we got the best from the little we had. He had a very commanding voice and a demeanor that made you follow his every word. Papa was strict and would not go to sleep until every one of us was home safe and sound.

In our barangay, Papa was known and respected by everyone. He was tough and reliable; people would often go to him for help. While Papa was known as a siga in our little town, he was often, to my family’s horror, also the first person to jump into a fight to make peace, even when the scuffle didn’t involve him or anyone he knew.

Papa was also known as the ninong ng bayan. I can’t remember the number of times we had to stop walking to the market so he could talk to his godchildren, who would suddenly grab his hand out of nowhere and put it on their foreheads. In the same way, we would often be stopped by his friends whenever there was a drinking party around, just so he could take the offer of a glass of beer or shot of rum in the name of the celebration.

In a way, Papa was like the fathers depicted on TV shows. He had a hard exterior, a set of friends he preferred to please, and a reputation to protect, being the man of the house. This was an obstacle that barred my path to coming out. On TV, as we all know, things usually don’t end up well for the gay kid.

Nevertheless, I trusted my gut and planned on how I would come out. I prepared myself for the worst. I rehearsed every line in my mind, pictured every scenario in my head, and planned an escape in case he didn’t approve of who I was and the person I chose to love. Although there are different schools of thought on coming out, in my case, I subscribed to the idea that I should, because I wanted to include the people I loved in the life I wished to live. I loved my father very much, so I wanted to tell him.

When the fateful day came, with my boyfriend at the time in tow, I went to Papa while he was manning our fruit stall at the local market. I introduced my boyfriend to Papa and expected that he would pull me aside and tell me how embarrassing the whole situation was. I thought that he would be ashamed of me, my identity, and all that came with it. I honestly thought he would be mad to the point of breaking.

However, instead of all the drama I’d been imagining, Papa smiled at me and the boy I was with in a way that I had never seen before. Then, shaking, he told me that he knew about me from day one, and accepted the fact that I was gay without any conditions. He told me that it was alright. He said he was happy as long as I was happy. 

That time, I couldn’t contain my joy, not because I thought my father approved of my partner, but because I knew he really loved me as his son. It was easily one of the best and most important days of my life.

I am lucky to have Papa as my father. He didn’t care about what anyone said about him. My father is strong, proud, and reliable, but he is also loving, accepting, and proud of his children, no matter who they are and who they love. He was more of a man than I thought any man would be.

Where I am today is something I owe to my father, who showed me how much better life would be for everyone if only parents would see their children as they are. My father is the best example of what genuine love from a parent can do for a kid, however they wish to identify.

Ever since, my father has been my rock. He has never failed to show up when I needed him most and has been there for every pain I’ve had in life. Although Papa is far from perfect, I am proud to be his son.

Neither Pride Month nor Father’s Day is long enough to express how lucky and thankful I am to have him as my father. I love him very much, and I will continue to show it as long as I live.

Happy Father’s Day! – Rappler.com

Joshua Labonera is a 27-year-old law student from Quezon City, currently in his sophomore year at the San Beda University-College of Law Manila.