[Dash of SAS] Someone just told me he has HIV. What do I say? What do I do?

The second guideline is to listen.

“Disclosing one's HIV-positive status is a very personal and courageous decision for persons living with HIV. They do so despite fears of rejection and ridicule. Listening and responding without judgment goes a long way to helping them accept their new status,” said Michael Jamias, a counselor at LoveYourself.

The third guideline is to ask how they want to be supported. Some PLHIV just want to tell another person about their status – that’s all. We have to respect those limits. The most important thing is to show that you will be there for them when they are ready.

“Listen to their experience of being PLHIV, how they feel and what they are going through. After they share, ask how they would like to be supported. It's all about listening to what the PLHIV say they want or need and providing that,” Jamias added. 

Instead of

The other LoveYourself counselors pooled their insights and and came up with this helpful “instead of, try…” list of things you can say when someone tells you he or she is living with HIV. 

If you find yourself still not knowing what to say, offer benevolence and understanding through silence. Remember when our mothers said if you have nothing good to say, better say nothing at all?

So yeah, silence will also do. And maybe a hug. – Rappler.com  

Ana P. Santos is Rappler’s sex and gender columnist and Pulitzer Center grantee. In 2014, the Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting awarded her the Persephone Miel fellowship to do a series of reports on Filipino migrant mothers in Dubai and Paris.