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MANILA, Philippines – It’s “hu hu hu” and not “ho ho ho” for these 10 Christmas movies, according to Simon Kinnear’s list on Totalfilm.com.
Here are 10 flicks that tried to spread Christmas cheer but ended up becoming Christmas jokes instead:
# 10 – Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House (2002)
Kevin, played by Mike Weinberg, defends his future stepmother’s mansion from his old enemy Marv (French Stewart) and his wife (Missi Pyle). The ultimate low point is when Kevin reveals that he is younger than he was in Home Alone 2. Alternate universe or bad script? Possibly both.
# 9 – Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
There’s nothing like a Christmas slasher film to spread the spirit of Christmas — NOT. Ricky, teen brother of the original killer in the first movie, escapes from a mental hospital. After killing a Salvation Army Santa and stealing his costume, Ricky hunts down the nun he blames for his brother’s death. But that’s not the worst of it. To reach feature length, half of the movie is made up of footage from the first one, in the form of flashbacks.
# 8 – The Santa Clause 3 (2006)
Jack Frost (Martin Short), angry that he has no holiday, tricks Santa (Tim Allen) into speaking the Escape Clause which undoes all his years as Santa and makes Jack Frost the new Santa. In his reign, Christmas becomes Frostmas and parents have to pay to get their kids in the “Nice” list.
# 7 – Jingle All the Way (1996)
Two fathers, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger and stand-up comedian Sinbad, fight each other to get their sons the only remaining Turbo-Man action figure. Memorable insights from the film? Don’t do your Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve.
# 6 – Four Christmases (2008)
Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon play a couple who avoid their families every Christmas season. But after appearing on television after their flight to Fiji is cancelled, all 4 of their divorced parents invite them for Christmas.
# 5 – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
The king and queen of Mars notice that the Martian children don’t have any fun so they decide to abduct Santa. Because the Martians don’t know how to tell the real Santa from the fake ones, they kidnap two children as well. In Mars, Santa and the kids make a toy factory for the Martian children. In the end, they choose one of the Martians to be Martian Santa and send the real Santa and the human kids back to Earth.
# 4 – Deck the Halls (2006)
Two neighbors battle it out to see who comes up with the best Christmas decorations. ‘Nuff said.
# 3 – Santa with Muscles (1996)
Hulk Hogan plays a mean millionaire who puts on a Santa costume in a mall to get away from police. He hits his head causing him to believe that he is Santa. Meanwhile, an evil scientist plots to take over an orphanage (which seems to have only 3 children) in order to access magical crystals beneath it. Only Santa, with the help of his muscles, can save the day.
# 2 – Santa Claus (1959)
A demon named Pitch is sent to Earth by Lucifer to kill Santa and make all the children in the world evil. Merlin the wizard, Santa’s most trusted assistant, comes to save the day, giving Santa a sleep-inducing powder and a flower that will make him invisible. The most exciting part of the film is when Santa is chased by a vicious dog and climbs a tree. Pitch calls the fire department so that Santa will be seen.
# 1 – Surviving Christmas (2004)
Ben Affleck plays a millionaire who pays the family living in his childhood home US$ 250,000 to pretend they are his family during the holiday season. He goes so far as to write them a script to follow which, sadly, is even better than the film’s. – Rappler.com
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