MANILA, Philippines – Reel- and real-life couple Tommy Esguerra and Miho Nishida, or “ToMiho” as they’re called by fans, are happily navigating their relationship, especially when it comes to cultural differences. 

Although both Tommy and Miho grew up with Filipino parents, Tommy was raised in the US, while Miho spent years in Japan.

The couple met while on Pinoy Big Brother last year, and became a couple this year.  In an interview with reporters during a press conference for the project Ipaglaban Mo last September, Tommy said that misunderstandings are inevitable – and shed some light on how the couples work through their issues. The two appeared in their first episode of Ipaglaban Mo last October 1 as part of the show’s anniversary.

“It’s been a year since we met in Pinoy Big Brother 737.

“There’s no way you guys are not gonna [have a misunderstanding].

“Since we have a problem with communication, our language, we find that it’s more important that in our relationship, we have a clear communication,” Tommy said. 

Miho said that she still has to brush up on her English, while Tommy’s waterloo is Filipino.

“Nakakaintindi naman kami ng Tagalog and English,” she explained. (We can both understand English and Tagalog.)

“Ang problema lang po namin, nahihirapan po akong magsalita ng English, siya nahihirapan siya magsalita ng Tagalog.”

(Our only problem is, I’m having a hard time talking in English, while he sometimes struggles with Tagalog.) 

Cultural differences

Habits had to change too, to accommodate each other. Tommy said: “I had to start using more chopsticks because she uses chopsticks all the time.

“No but seriously, she comes from a Filipino family in Japan, I come from a Filipino family living in America. So morals and family values are not far off right? But there are cultural values and the cultural morals that are little far off.

“I don’t know. We run into them every now and then and one of just gives okay. It makes sense, yours makes sense more than mine…”

Miho explained: “Iba naman ang America at Japan. Kasi sa America [pag] happy ka, sobrang kitang-kita sa mukha mo na happy ka. Pag nagagalit ka, nagagalit. Pag malungkot, malungkot.

(America and Japan are very different. In America for example, if you’re happy, it really shows. If you’re angry, you’re angry. If you’re sad, you are sad.) 

“Sa Japan kasi, ako kasi lumaki ako doon so napansin ko na sa mga kaibigan ko, syempre hawa-hawaan na iyan dahil doon na ako lumaki. Sa mga Hapon kasi pag masaya ka or malungkot ka, hindi mo masyadong pinapakita sa mukha mo.

(In Japan, since I grew up there, I notice with my friends, of course we do adapt to each other’s ways. With the Japanese, if you’re happy or sad, you really don’t show it.)

“Parang wala, pag masaya ka kunwari meron siyang surprise para sa akin, ang saya-saya sa loob ng puso ko pero hindi ko mapakita, kasi nga dahil sa culture dahil doon ako lumaki. So siguro doon para sa akin.“

(It’s like nothing, if you’re happy for example he (Tommy) has a surprise for me, I’m so happy deep in my heart but I may not show it, because of the culture I grew up with. So I guess that’s one example for me.)

Tommy added: “When we were first inside PBB, that was a big problem. Because I had no idea at all on how she takes anything I’m saying.

“But she’s opened up and she’s not like, you know, poker face all the time… she shows it now and she’s very caring.”

Tommy also shared that meeting each other’s parents had significant impact on their relationship. 

“Honestly, this might have happened after she met the parents, but meeting her parents and meeting my parents, that was the biggest thing. Because if you can get along with my mom and my father, and then can get along with you and they can get along with your parents, well, yeah we’re okay.

“Because if you’re in a relationship with me, you’re not just in a relationship with me, you’re in a relationship with my family. And it’s the same thing with her. If I’m in a relationship with her, there’s her daughter, there’s her mother. That was probably the biggest thing. We went to America, we went to Japan and both of our families love each other so that when I was like, this is going to work.” – Rappler.com