20 unspoken truths behind my first solo backpacking experience

What was I thinking, booking that plane ticket in a snap?! Maybe the pre quarter-life blues were kicking in?

Since I was bitten by the travel bug in 2013 after graduating from university, I have been flying 3 times a year ever since, going to two or 3 countries per trip. But even if I was flying frequently (I did have a chance to wander solo in Bangkok for one day), I hadn’t traveled solo yet. 

So my bucket list item said: “Travel solo by the time I turn 25 [to Laos].” But a turn of events during that time led to me getting my heart broken. I couldn’t wait until I turned 25 any longer, so I decided to travel alone for 5 solid days [in Hanoi], at 24. 

Like a possible Tinder date, I had to meet this city. I had to travel to this place. 

It felt like a swipe right, so I booked a plane ticket without hesitation. 

But despite the excitement that came with that great independence I felt upon departure, or experiencing the most intense feelings of wanderlust in discovering a new place, my first solo backpacking trip experience was far from perfect. Here are the unspoken truths behind my first (full-fledged) solo backpacking trip.

1. I might have posted beautiful posts on Instagram and Facebook during my trip, but I was sad and insecure most of the time. I use the pictures to cover the negative experiences I mostly felt.

I didn’t want people to know how terribly homesick I was feeling, how difficult it felt when there’s no one to talk to, about the awkward encounters I’ve had while eating alone at the guest house’s dining area, or how stupid I felt while waiting for the chaotic influx of motorbikes to end for me to safely cross the street; I didn’t want people to know the ugly realities of my trip.

So I turned to posting Instagram-worthy photos to cover up the loneliness and intimidation I felt and show that I was fearless; I was having the best time of my life and nothing was going wrong in my trip.

2. The first 3 days of traveling were super exciting and filled with adventures. Every nook and cranny I saw and visited in Hanoi was a wonder to my eyes. But later, I have to admit I was kind of bored with myself and with the place already.

3. It was both exhilarating AND depressing to travel alone, and be alone. I got so homesick one night, my parents were already asleep, and there was no one to talk to. Good thing I was able to Viber a dear friend and I cried to her and told her what I was feeling. It was really a tough moment.

4. I only rode the taxi 4 times throughout my 5-day stay and I was able to visit almost all of the places in my list (and I’m not even kidding! Bragging rights? Not really. Walking to get to tourist spots in Hanoi is really easy to do).

5. Commuting from the airport to the city center WITHOUT research… I did it (please don’t try it when it’s your first time to travel, or first time to travel alone), and I encountered the most arrogant fellow traveler I have ever met. And I didn’t get lost going from the airport to the city center, woot! I got to talk with locals for the 2 bus rides going downtown and it was the most memorable experience I ever had.

6. I attended a Ca Tru (a traditional Vietnamese music) performance… and I was pretty much one of the few in the crowd, along with a local grandpa. I am not the most sociable person in the planet so imagine how it felt awkward for me at first! But really it was fun. I had a long talk with the emcee and the main performer and knowing that there seems to be little support for Ca Tru, sadly it feels like Ca Tru music genre might be in its sunset days. 

7. In two separate restaurants on two separate occasions, I was asked if I could share my table with another customer (is that typical in Vietnam?). So I had unexpected company, one during lunch, and another during dinner. They were both Australian guys who were travelers like me, visiting Hanoi.

I partly didn’t want to talk to them because I was intimidated, and the setup felt like a Korean Restaurant for Singles TV show I’ve seen once, and it was so awkward! But sharing a table with these fellow travelers over meals, it felt good to find out each other’s fascination with Vietnamese (and even Thai) food, and how we deeply appreciate the beauty of Hanoi regardless of our nationalities. Plus it I was relieved to know that I was not the only one who was so clueless on how to eat bun cha and nem cua be.

Talking with these strangers, one remarkable thing I found out is how interested they were in the Philippines. One even asked how terrible traffic was in Manila!

8. During the Tam Coc – Ninh Binh tour that I availed of, only two persons were allowed per boat and I was paired with a Czech guy. There was small talk – he expressed how sorry he felt with the typhoon that just hit the Philippines at the time (typhoon Koppu / Lando) and it felt touching to know that people around the world care for us – but mostly we didn’t speak with each other for the 2-hour boat ride and it was awkward to the nth level for me. I didn’t know what to say or even ask to him, and besides, I was intimidated by the Eurobro and his good looks.

9. I really hated our tour guide because she forced us to go together and not let me join with the friends I already made during the tour (I already made friends, don’t you know how hard that was for me?).

10. I really didn’t like to talk with anyone throughout my trip except for the occasional inquiry with the hotel / guesthouse receptionist, food ordering, shopping, or asking for directions when lost, I really wanted to immerse myself in my own thoughts during this trip, but…

11. I made friends with the people from the tour and it was a parade of nationalities! Vietnamese-Australian, Singaporean, Germans, Australians, Czech, Austrians, Vietnamese, Japanese. I realized, there’s no getting away with not talking with other fellow travelers because traveling solo is a social thing. It is daunting to talk with strangers – let alone people who don’t speak the same language as you, but I accepted that socializing is inevitable when traveling.

Drinking Vietnamese coffee with the Australian and Singaporean travelers who became my friends during our free time after the boat ride, I was honestly ashamed of myself for being a lousy Filipino when one told me that El Nido, Palawan was far more beautiful than what we’ve seen in Tam Coc. I was ashamed that I haven’t seen El Nido yet but I was traveling to other countries instead. 

12. I was (mildly) hit by a motorbike at the Old Quarter. Yes, mom. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this.

13. I was definitely not afraid of getting lost in the city. Seriously, I think Hanoi is a good place for female travelers who want to go on their first solo trip. Some of the factors that made me choose enigmatic Hanoi was because of its tranquility, great preserved culture, and its mysterious aura.

14. A co-hotel guest (a Japanese) asked for my contact details over breakfast and it felt like she was running a fly-by-night networking company and said she was doing business in Manila. It just felt off. I provided her with a fictitious name. This was the first time I ever did this, and I never thought I would do this in my life, but I just had to. So I guess my fictitious name is Jane Perez. 

15. I was mistaken for too many nationalities. A Vietnamese, a Japanese, a Malaysian, whatever. No one ever guessed that I am a Filipino!

16. I almost got scammed upon arrival at the airport when a random man approached me and told me that my hotel’s airport transfer service met an accident along the way and cannot fetch me. In turn he offered to accompany me to the same hotel. I didn’t follow him. I knew it was a recipe for a scam and turns out I was right, when I asked my hotel when I arrived if they really met an accident. They told me they didn’t.

17. But then… I still got ripped off. Twice. Once was by those seemingly-nice old ladies riding bikes and selling stuff at the Streets of Old Quarter, and the other was by a souvenir vendor. It was just a slight rip-off on the products but it was enough to spoil my holiday.

18. The receptionist at my last hotel made me uncomfortable. Girls, I cannot express how this was a holiday spoiler at the last leg of my trip. Arriving a bit late up to my room, I asked to borrow a weighing scale upon going upstairs to weigh my luggage. After returning and saying my thanks, he looked at my sleeveless shirt then looked me in the eye, “If there’s still anything that you need, you can call me.”

He had this glint in his eye, a subtle look hinting at something improper. He knew I was already tucking in for the night. Was that even supposed to have double meaning, or I was just extra paranoid? It was a small budget hotel, the cheapest one I could find nearing my departure date, and the last of the 3 accommodations I’ve stayed at in my trip. I casually shrugged it off and walked as fast as I could up the stairs to my room, but I had a mini heart attack deep inside.

Traveling solo is not a joke. Always exercise extra precaution and trust your instincts especially if you’re a female traveling alone at a foreign place.

19. I had the SCARIEST, sketchiest taxi ride of my life upon departing for the airport from my hotel. I really had to do numerous fake calls to my dad in the Philippines stating my departure schedule, the hotel’s name, the taxi’s plate number, the whole nine yards. 

The whole taxi ride felt so shady. It was not a taxi at all but a private car of the hotel (same budget hotel I was referring to earlier). There were no lights in the car: it was dark, and my departure was at 1 AM, my phone had no WiFi connection, there were not many road signs at the freeway leading to the airport, road signs were in Vietnamese characters and I could not understand a thing. I was really scared during that whole trip to the airport. 

20. This trip was an ender of sorts. I was running away from a heartbreak and ALL the memories attached with it, from the grip of family, who wanted me to always be the perfect daughter, from the drowning stress at work, and from the repetitive familiarity of things I experience every day. I was sick of all of it. 

Yes, I was running away from it all, but I ended running into myself.

My first solo backpacking trip was not what I expected, yes it was far from the ideal or perfect, but it was perfect in its own way.

So for anyone who’s making that decision to just stay or to go and travel solo, why not take a leap of faith sometime? There are things that would make you discover yourself which cannot be achieved beyond the confines of your everyday environment.

Bucket list item, checked! – Rappler.com

Jan dreams of filling her passport with stamps and completing her travel bucket list, aiming to travel to the world’s most mysterious countries someday. While not traveling, she spends her days forever amazed at the world of Information Technology, working as a business analyst. She loves writing, cinematography, playing the ukulele, EDM music, and culture. Follow her on Instagram @janricasio