Breastfeeding setbacks did not defeat me

Ever since I can remember, there was nothing I wanted more in life than to become a mother. And so I welcomed news of my pregnancy with joy and gratefulness, vowing to do everything possible to ensure my baby’s health and well-being.

Because breast is undoubtedly best, I decided early on to breastfeed my baby, a girl named Lucia. To prepare myself for what lay ahead, I attended classes on breastfeeding basics and ensuring the proper latch, and read up on proper breastfeeding positions and potential problems.

I also invested in a sturdy electric pump, and bought essentials such as nursing bras and covers, and lanolin for sore nipples, as well as malunggay capsules. I enlisted the help of a lactation counselor who is also a dear friend (thank you, Lumen!). My niece Stef, who was a new mom, gifted me with a nursing pillow and nursing tea to get me started.

But I knew that breastfeeding can be challenging. Stories of painful latching and low supply had me worried that my experience would be no different. Still, I was determined to succeed, and luckily, my partner Victor gave me his full support.

READ: Make breastfeeding work for you

The arrival

Lucia arrived on a Saturday via caesarian delivery. My OB implemented “Unang Yakap” (first embrace) protocols designed to ensure mommy-baby bonding and ease us into breastfeeding.

Right after Lucia was born, she was placed on my chest for our first skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding. That moment was beautiful — one I will never forget.

We roomed-in with Lucia to make breastfeeding easier. To build my supply, I breastfed round the clock and drank lots of hot soup.

My latch seemed okay (Lumen visited and checked), but by the second day, and despite my religious application of lanolin, I was in so much pain. My nipples felt raw, and soon started to crack. I battled with feelings of inadequacy, but I forged on, determined to give Lucia colostrum.

Panic attack

Four days after giving birth, Lucia’s pediatrician told me that while she was healthy, my baby could only be cleared to go home after peeing. She had lost almost 10% of her birth weight and hadn’t peed for almost 20 hours already.

When Lucia hadn’t peed by lunchtime, her pedia told me to breastfeed again, but after seeing my panicked look, she checked me, and said, “You’re in no condition to breastfeed right now, Joan, you’re bleeding.” This was followed by, “Lucia would have to take formula temporarily.”

I was crushed. I didn’t want Lucia to take any formula. But I was in so much pain. So I consented, but not before letting out a sob. To alleviate my stress, the pedia told me that I could pump milk while healing.

And so I did, and I got 0.3 oz from both breasts on my first try. This wasn’t much, but I was happy because at least this confirmed that I had milk! I delivered my milk to Lucia, and that, along with the formula, made her pee at last. Before long, we were on our way home.

Encouragement

In the days that followed, my breast pump became my constant companion. I pumped every 3 hours, though I had to supplement with formula because I just wasn’t making enough. It was a horrible feeling not being able to exclusively breastfeed, and I was ashamed to admit to Lumen that I was supplementing. Lumen was wonderful, however; she told me that I was doing well by pumping and her encouragement made me feel so much better.

I read up on galactagogues. I ordered yummy galacatagogue-brownies from Mommy Treats, and also started taking fenugreek and blessed thistle capsules that Lucia’s Tito William shipped from the US for free.

One day, worried that my supply still hadn’t increased, I called Mommy Beng of Medela House, who suggested that I try ice compress. Almost immediately, more milk started flowing. These small victories kept me going.

Over time, my supply began to increase, from 0.5 oz per session, to 1, then 2 oz. Still, my milk wasn’t enough, making mixed-feeding a necessity. I really envied those mommies producing enough (or more than enough) milk for their babies.

I felt bad that I couldn’t shake off the physical pain of my early attempts at breastfeeding that I chose to pump exclusively even after I had healed. I was aware that direct feeding would have likely increased my supply more than any pump could.

Continue breastfeeding

When Lucia was 3 months old, I came across a post by breastfeeding advocate and fellow lawyer Jenny Ong about moms who could not produce enough milk because of insufficient glandular tissue. The post gave markers for determining whether a mom might have that condition.

While I was not able to ascertain it from a doctor, I had seen some of those markers on myself. Jenny wrote that even “if a mom cannot produce enough breastmilk for her child and needs to supplement, she should still CONTINUE to breastfeed and not stop…any amount of breastmilk she can provide, no matter how little, is better than not providing breastmilk to your child at all.”

These words felt like salvation and came at the perfect time – I was then seriously contemplating completely shifting to formula. And so I built my “station,” where my pump and laptop were set up. I pumped at least 7 times a day, waking up at 2 am and again at 5 am every day.

Every time I felt like collapsing from physical exhaustion, I would recall that this was but a small sacrifice for Lucia’s health, and that giving her the best nutrition possible was the least I could do as her mommy.

Adjustments

To make pumping sessions more enjoyable (especially at dawn), I watched my favorite shows simultaneously. Thankfully, Victor  was hands-on with Lucia – he took on diaper and bath duties, and would play with or rock Lucia to sleep while I pumped.

When I went back to work, I set up a pumping station in my office, where I was fortunate to be able to lock my door and pump in peace. Those times I had to be out of the office, I found ways to pump – whether in the car or inside a bathroom stall.

One time, I had to attend a hearing in Baguio. Since I only make enough milk for the day and have no stored milk, I had to bring Lucia along if I was to give her breastmilk. Luckily, my bosses and the client understood, and our little family had the best time in Baguio.

Don’t give up

August is breastfeeding month, and Lucia is now 9 months old. When my breastfeeding journey started, I doubted whether I could last 3 months, given the hurdles I had to face.

Now I plan to keep pumping until Lucia reaches at least a year old. Looking back, I realize that the support I got from family and friends, as well as bosses, (even clients!), gave me the push I needed to continue breastfeeding.

I was encouraged to not let my early setbacks defeat me. To those mommies who are going through a similar experience, I say, Don’t give up, for it really does get better! Chin up and smile; you’re doing an excellent job of taking care of your little one! Happy breastfeeding! – Rappler.com

 

Joan A. de Venecia is a lawyer and a first-time mom. Despite Joan’s dogged determination to breastfeed exclusively and her extensive preparations to this end, she encountered problems from Day 1 that, at times, seemed harder than the Bar exams. These days, she is feeling better, relieved that every morning, she gets a fresh opportunity to become a better mom to her daughter Lucia.