Remembering Gait-gait: Haiyan survivor’s message to grieving moms

I didn’t want to be a part of the activity as a parent who lost a loved one in the typhoon. But because I can’t change what had happened, I am here because I want healing.  

The night before November 8, I and my 3 children prayed as we often did. That night, we prayed to God to keep us safe from the typhoon. I admit two of my children and I were afraid of the typhoon, but not my youngest Gaivan Dwight or Gait-gait as we fondly called him. He was a sweet and charming  4-year old. As usual, he gave me a good night kiss and said good night mama and ingat (take care).

The day came and Super Typhoon Yolanda was beating our house with strong wind and rain. We were afraid. We hid under the table and by that time, my children Yanyan and Xirc were already crying, but not Gait-gait. He was quiet under my arms.

The storm got worst that we felt our house would soon collapse so we decided to go out and evacuate to the house next to ours. My husband took the two older children, while I took Gait-gait with me.

Just when we left the house, the water came rushing in. It was so black and dirty and the current was so strong. I was holding Gait-gait in my arms and tried to keep him. Then I heard him say “Mama,” and suddenly he was gone.

Hope

Tossed by the water and under, I was thinking of my son. Then I also thought of my husband and my two other children. I prayed to God and told Him to just take me too if they were all gone. Not very long after, I felt an object and began to grab it. I managed to rise above the waters and found myself on the second floor terrace of a house. 

Up on the terrace while I was waiting for the storm to subside, I was troubled about what happened to Gait-gait. My mind knew it was impossible for him to survive, but my heart still wanted to hope.

Few meters from where I was standing, I saw my neighbor on the second floor of their house. From a distance, I could also see the house where my family planned to evacuate. I thought to myself, maybe my husband and two kids managed to reach the house. Since I was far from that house and my neighbor was between us, I asked him to check them for me. He called for my husband, he became our mediator.

We were shouting and using hand motions to communicate to each other. I wanted for confirmation about Gait-gait. I was hoping my husband was able to find and save him. Since we had a hard time communicating, my husband lifted our children one by one so I could see them.

He lifted our eldest first, then the second, and I was hoping our youngest next. But that was all.

That’s the time that I realized my son is gone.

Son

After 2 hours, the storm receded so I decided to go down and look for my son. Not too far on my way back home, I found him on top of a pile of iron sheets. His face was clean, it seemed like he was sleeping. With his comfortable posture, it was like the Lord had carefully placed him there. Gently, I took him to myself and carried him to where my family was. 

My agony increased with the even more painful situations that followed. When we visited the funeral house where we took Gait-gait’s body, the owner told us something we didn’t expect to hear.

He told us to just look for Gait-gait’s body on the street where he and others were laid. That was heartbreaking. From being clean and handsome, we saw him in a pitiful sight.

My heart was crushed.

I wish I didn’t see him that way. I was trying to comfort myself with the fact that his soul is with Jesus already, but the pain was just strong. And as his body remained for hours on the muddy street, my agony remained.

It was late in the evening when we were finally able to make a coffin for him. As a mother, you want the best for your child. But that time, I couldn’t give the best funeral for Gait-gait. My heart was breaking.

Now

Losing Gait-gait that way is painful, up to now.

But God has showed me many good things to think about and to be grateful for. If there is any consolation, that is that we find his body unlike others whose loved ones are up to now missing.

If there is any comfort, that is the comfort that he is with Jesus now, happy and enjoying in heaven. I hope to see him again someday. 

I thank the Lord for being there whenever I remember about what happened. He reminds me that He has a good purpose for everything and gives me strength to go on.

I thank God for my second life and I thank Him that I still have two children.

Now, I am also serving in our church as a Kids Sunday School teacher. It is my way of easing myself from missing Gait-gait, and my way of thanking and serving the Lord. God is good, I still believe. I thank Him for continually healing me, and I know it would have been harder without Him. – Rappler.com

Gelyn A. Digdigan, a Yolanda survivor from Tacloban City, delivered this speech during the inauguration of San Jose Central School’s “Garden of Remembrance.”

PLDT’S GABAy guro program is planning to try to help Gelyn.